A man walks into a bar.

Sitting on the bar is this old antique looking oil lamp.

What's this? the man queries to the barkeep.

"I dunno", answered the barman. "I guess the last person sitting there must have left it."

The man turns to the lamp, looking at it, and noticed a couple of spots on it. He picks it up and tries to polish the spots off with his shirt sleeve and then poof...

A cloud of smoke emits from the lamp then a genie appears.

Like all genies his opening line is, "I will grant you three wishes."

After recovering from his surprise, he thinks for a few minutes, then says, "Turn Greg Abbott into a woman, 8-months pregnant, confined to a small house with no AC or electricity and not a working refrigerator because the Texas power grid is failing in 104-degree heat."

The genie turned to the man with a wry smile and says, "This one is on me."