I prefer Mayo!

HALLELUJAH

Shepherd Wong: You want egg salad, I'll give you egg salad! Did you bring the mayonnaise?
Suki Yaki: Mayonnaise?
Shepherd Wong: I told you to take a jar!
Suki Yaki: Boy is he weird.
Shepherd Wong: Oh, nevermind. If there's none on board, forget it. We'll use Miracle Whip. Heee-yee-hee-hee-ha-ha!

Prelude to the Mayonnaise Chapter

“The Eskimos live among ice all their lives but have no single word for ice.” — Man: His First Million Years, by M. F. Ashley Montagu

“Human language is in some ways similar to, but in other ways vastly different from, other kinds of animal communication. We simply have no idea about its evolutionary history, though many people have speculated about its possible origins. There is, for instance, the ‘bow-bow’ theory, that language started from attempts to imitate animal sounds. Or the ‘ding- dong’ theory, that it arose from natural sound-producing responses. Or the ‘pooh-pooh’ theory, that it began with violent outcries and exclamations … We have no way of knowing whether the kinds of men represented by the earliest fossils could talk or not … language does not leave fossils, at least not until it has become written …” — Man in Nature, by Marston Bates

“But no animal up a tree can initiate a culture.” — “The Simian Basis of Human Mechanics,” in Twilight of Man, by Earnest Albert Hooton

Expressing a human need, I always wanted to write a book that ended with the word Mayonnaise

The Mayonnaise Chapter

Feb 3-1952

Dearest Florence and Harv.

I just heard from Edith about the passing of Mr. Good. Our heart goes out to you in deepest sympathy Gods will be done. He has lived a good long life and he has gone to a better place. You were expecting it and it was nice you could see him yesterday even if he did not know you. You have our prayers and love and we will see you soon.

God bless you both.

Love Mother and Nancy.

P.S.
Sorry I forgot to give you the mayonaise. (Intentionally)

(That's actually not a good idea. Don't use oils on burns -- hydrate.)