The guy brave enough to destroy the US government cannot fight two 15 year olds.

He is a man baby.

... you knew that from his moniker ...

They are failures in the bedroom.
And every where else in life.

Neutricles.

https://neuticles.com/

Beaten up by a couple of 15 year olds. Now THAT'S funny!

As juveniles, both ended up with confinement until they were twenty-one.

Thanks, and good morning.

I've done my fair bit of MMA and was used as an example, as even though I'm 6'4" and 300+ lbs and well-trained in both martial arts and boxing, two determined 15 year olds were able to take me down. Three would end me.

I sincerely doubt you would be able to do any better, or ANYone. A 15 year old male is, despite age, quite a good deal more physically powerful than anything other than a dedicated fighter or powerlifter of an elder age category. Especially if they're in numbers similar to what is listed; two opponents is a loss. Three opponents is a one-sided beatdown, no matter how adept you are, unless you have EXTENSIVE training in multi-combatant fighting.

That said, Ballsack deserved to get his shit rocked, but never underestimate someone based purely on their age. I was 6'2" and 250 lbs at 15; I could have wrecked 90% of American citizens 1v1 back then, let alone if I had another one of me following my lead, even worse if there was a third.

We can say "Hue hue homeboy got his ass beat by a 15 year old" but 99% of DUers would get equally rocked in a one on one, even worse in a 2/3-on-one.

Destroy the quality of life for all Americans but the wealthy.

He is a rotten no good bastard who wimps out when he is not hiding behind a computer screen.

President Trump on Tuesday called for the District of Columbia to change its laws to allow for teenagers 14 and older to be prosecuted as adults and face lengthy prison sentences.

(snip)

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5437405-trump-washington-dc-youth-crimes-federal-control/

and I couldn't help but to think WWJD, what would Jeffrey do?

It is a serious head injury and needs observation and treatment.

Not self diagnosed.

all of fucking DC.

FDR knew how to wield power for the long-term good. So did LBJ. Clinton, Obama, and Bush wanted the perception of bipartisanship. Given today’s Republican Party and their willingness to do anything, legal or not, to keep Democrats out of power forever, we need more FDR and Johnson types. I’m not sure we have any (at least ready for the highest office), but I sure hope someone steps up before 2028.

Spacenazi must need another gazillion dollars from the usa.

But making up a story so contrary to facts from the police report?

They lie like they breathe

... a Republican can't breathe without lying.

The real definition of insanity is not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality

... it's exhausting to have to wade through the putrid swamp of Republican lies every day.

wait til you boys no longer have the Feds to back you up. You like breaking car windows on defenseless pregnant women and their children. You're going to wish you were in prison.
That's just my guess.

Is looking more like tiny hands every day.

doing out and about at 3:00 AM on a Monday morning? Does he actually have a job to go to?

It's pretty easy to guess what actually happened here, assuming the entire story isn't made up.

IF Coristine and his girlfriend were threatened, it probably went down like this...

Drunk couple weaves their way to their car, noticed by a group of teens who might have taunted them (being teens). Coristine and his girlfriend taunt back (being drunk, and an asshole). Eventually one of the teens says "we'll carjack you" and C. falls down and hurts himself, being drunk. Police respond immediately (proving that policing in DC is actually working) and C. accuses two 15 year olds of attacking him. Done.

Instead of being embarrassed the next morning and going to work hungover like everybody else would, C. literally makes a federal case of it and Trump pounces on it as an excuse to kill everyone in DC (or at least try).

The racism in the part of Trump and his minions is fundamental to understanding this.

if you like being at odds with the MPD report.

My point remains, though. Nothing particularly bad happened to this kid but Trump is using it as an excuse to come down on DC. Which is already suffering enough thanks to Musk.

Does he have a fake ID?

More likely- out trying to score drugs, gets beaten up.

Since we're very concerned about so-called "factual reports."

The fact is you don't have any idea where he was coming from or what he was doing at all, right?

I enjoy the speculation, though.

I'm just mentioning The Black Cat as one of the many establishments that are in the vicinity of the intersection of Swann Street and 14th Street and could have been open late on a Saturday night.

The Black Cat is located right at that intersection. It serves alcohol, but it has an all-ages admission policy.

Thanks, and good afternoon.

It's often the time of peak speculation, of course.

Adult bodies riddled at birthday parties. Innocent people gunned down in drive bys. Two thugs beaten and now there's a problem.

No hospital visit, no wounds.

Last edited Thu Aug 7, 2025, 04:58 PM - Edit history (2)

The OP is based on an opinion piece in The New Republic. TNR has labeled it "Breaking News," which is odd, because it didn't appear until 10:29 a.m. Wednesday morning, well after Trump's rant.

If you read the parts of the article that were left out here, you'll see it is clearly an opinion piece. Parts that do appear here have been so carefully edited as to be disinformation. From TNR:

Link to tweet

Complainant 1 (i.e., Coristine) is the only one saying anything about that. They have to arrest and charge based on the complaint (and, of course, the fact that he was indeed beaten bloody), but unless there's a confession, there's not a whole lot to go on for a charge of unarmed carjacking. According to the report, the woman he was with (C-2) did not even confirm the claim: the report states only that C-1 (Coristine) "saw the suspects approach and make a comment about taking the vehicle." That's pretty slim for a carjacking charge.

It will be dropped. This will go to simple assault if that.

I also expect we'll see the story change.

Even after posting the DC police report's description of the attack, these Big Ball Truthers still maintained it was a lie, fake news, a false flag stunt and other nonsense. Reminds me of the fools who believe children gunned down in schools are crisis actors.

I take everything I read on the internet with a heaping spoonful of doubt until proven with veracity.

It used to be "got a link for that?" around here. Now its hook, line, and sinker

Hello?



This isn't exactly the "crime of the century". It's just something for Trump to get his panties up in a wad. It wouldn't have gotten other presidents in a tizzy and they probably would have quietly checked into the circumstances surrounding the incident. Nevertheless, "Big Balls" got beat up and Trump is exploiting it. He would have found some other lame excuse to federalize DC. Maybe it didn't cross his radar this term until Big Balls got beat up and Trump says, "Oh I forgot, this reminds me, I need to federalize DC"

A hangnail at the wrong time, could have been impetus to federalize DC...

Worse crime happens in DC...

. . .and he was a former Wall Street bond broker.

Shit didn't fall far from the asshole in terms of arrogance.

https://www.lesserevil.com

is clearly compensating for something.

So go on over there Big Balls and if the female bonobos (as they are prone to do) don't go "ape" over you, you don't measure up.

We are referring to another human being as "big balls" which is just one of the more ridiculous and absurd turn of events that I would have never predicted ever happening.

Everytime I hear this nonsense I cringe so hard my spine pops. I want to express how completely absurd this all is but nothing could be further from the truth. These people, as completely ridiculous and uninformed and incompetent, are causing very real harm. I fucking hate them so much. I hate this period in time so much.
Its 24/7 shit show and I am over it.

July 24, 2025