everybody hates United States Vice President Dildo Baggins. sorry, but them’s the facts. European leaders run when they see him coming. they don’t need another condescending lecture about why they should be hugging their Nazis.

his trip to Greenland was a fucktacular disaster. he ended up confined to a US military base, because no Greenlander wanted him near their furniture.

but here’s how you know JD done really shit the bed: even the Pope wants no part of him. imagine traveling all the way to the Vatican during Holy Week for a meeting with Pope Francis, only to be told ‘sorry bro, His Holiness has to rearrange his sock drawer.’

Pope Francis did not attend the Vatican’s official meeting with U.S. Vice President JD Vance on Saturday, instead having his No. 2 deliver a lecture on compassion, according to a Vatican statement.

Here's that statement:

“There was an exchange of opinions on the international situation, especially regarding countries affected by war, political tensions and difficult humanitarian situations, with particular attention to migrants, refugees, and prisoners.”

oh, to have been a fly on that wall — because “exchange of opinions” has to be a top entry in the Polite Euphemism Hall of Fame. we have no idea what went on between Cardinal Pietro Parolin and Couchfuck McGee — but if it were me doing the ahem exchanging of opinions, it would have gone something like this....