Donald Trump Is Going Down--and He Knows It

That golden escalator is descending to a place that would see even solid gold melting entirely—Hell. But think how many old friends will be there to greet the president on his arrival!

“I wanna try and get to heaven if possible. I’m hearing I’m not doing well… I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.” —Donald Trump, discussing his efforts to end the war in Ukraine during an August 19 interview with Fox & Friends.

It’s the most self-reflective thing I’ve ever heard from the president, a surprising admission that, for all the braggadocio, all the anger, all the denials of any wrong-doing ever, something human still beats in that Grinchian heart. That small something is telling him what the rest of us already know—the dude sucks. He has always sucked. That if there’s any karmic justice in this world, Hell is having the red carpet steam cleaned in anticipation of it being rolled out for a very special new resident.

So did Trump accidentally spill the beans on his condition during that otherwise softball interview? Is the current flurry of incoherent domestic and international activity, prolific even by Trumpian standards, a buzzer-beating effort to get right with the Lord?

If so, let me speak on behalf of our Heavenly Father—it ain’t working, kid.

There’s been a lot of speculation on the state of Trump’s physical well-being in recent weeks and months—but in particular since the White House released a statement about his diagnosis of chronic venous insufficiency. There’s been the terrible bruising on the President’s hands, which the White House attempted to explain away by saying it was from too much vigorous hand-shaking. So why was it also on his left hand?

And when the famously loquacious Trump dropped out of the public eye for several days last week—sans a few dubious photographs of him on his way to a golf course, looking wan and even more bloated than usual—the internet went bonkers. Did his ticker blow up? Did he have a Diet Coke brain bleed?

https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-is-going-downand-he-knows-it/