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Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:53 PM Jun 23

A dear friend died today. Heart attack.

He was less than 50 years old. He had been my son's caregiver for the last two years. He didn't treat me like an old lady even though we were 20 years apart age-wise. He was kind and friendly, considerate of my feelings. We teased each other about anything and everything. Hated politics. Despised Trump. I'm going to miss him like crazy.

He was the person I saw and talked to more than anyone except my grown boys.

46 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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A dear friend died today. Heart attack. (Original Post) Ilsa Jun 23 OP
Holding you in my heart Attilatheblond Jun 23 #1
Thank you so much. Ilsa Jun 24 #11
Heart attack under 50....that is so young Pachamama Jun 24 #2
He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess. Ilsa Jun 24 #10
I'm so sorry, don't have words Shellback Squid Jun 24 #3
Thank you. My Ilsa Jun 24 #12
(((((hugs))))) UpInArms Jun 24 #4
Thank you. I'll take the hugs, even vitual hugs. Ilsa Jun 24 #13
Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss. MIButterfly Jun 24 #5
Thank you. I keep thinking, Ilsa Jun 24 #15
Seems he was a good man. May the angels care for him now. riversedge Jun 24 #6
Thank you. I hope so. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #16
Goodness. I am so sorry. May he rest in peace. LoisB Jun 24 #7
Thank you for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #17
I'm so sorry for your loss. iemanja Jun 24 #8
Thank you so much. It's a shock to the system. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #21
I can imagine. iemanja Jun 24 #29
So sorry to hear. calimary Jun 24 #9
I sent his mother a text that I Ilsa Jun 24 #18
That's awful. Figarosmom Jun 24 #14
He took responsibility for his health being screwed up. Ilsa Jun 24 #19
I am sorry for your and your sons' loss irisblue Jun 24 #20
Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand Ilsa Jun 24 #22
I'm so sorry sdfernando Jun 24 #23
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #24
Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace niyad Jun 24 #25
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #33
Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend. virgdem Jun 24 #26
Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind, Ilsa Jun 24 #34
Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life! KitFox Jun 24 #27
I thought his heart condition was improving. His Ilsa Jun 24 #36
Deepest condolences to you & your son SheltieLover Jun 24 #28
Thank you so much. He was one-of-a-kind. nt Ilsa Jun 24 #37
I'm sorry KT2000 Jun 24 #30
Thank you so much for your Ilsa Jun 24 #38
So sorry Nululu Jun 24 #31
His presence in our lives was a gift Thank you Ilsa Jun 24 #39
Very sorry for your loss. no_hypocrisy Jun 24 #32
Your words are so true. Ilsa Jun 24 #40
I am very sorry IIsa, May his memories be a blessing to you. and his family. debm55 Jun 24 #35
Thank you so much. He was here when our family Ilsa Jun 24 #41
He will forever be a part of your family. As your family was apart of him. debm55 Jun 24 #42
I'm sorry for your loss Marthe48 Jun 24 #43
Thank you so much. We were very blessed Ilsa Jun 24 #45
Nothing prepares us for such a loss. Condolences to everyone. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Jun 24 #44
There were days when he was Ilsa Jun 24 #46

Attilatheblond

(6,643 posts)
1. Holding you in my heart
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:58 PM
Jun 23

Words are no comfort, but know your loss is shouldered by others who care.

Pachamama

(17,368 posts)
2. Heart attack under 50....that is so young
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:00 AM
Jun 24

I am so sorry to hear this loss for both you and your son…and so sudden.

He sounds like he was a really kind and decent person with a loving heart that the world needs more of and not less.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
10. He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:17 AM
Jun 24

He was an ADHD kid with learning and memory difficulties born into a family of overachievers. He had a bit of that "if it feels good, do it," mentality, and was never quite fully mature. His wants typically overruled his thinking about consequences. He was really sweet, and we will miss him.

MIButterfly

(815 posts)
5. Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:13 AM
Jun 24

I hope good memories of your friend will eventually help ease your pain. I send to you my deepest condolences.

Love,
MIButterfly

calimary

(87,030 posts)
9. So sorry to hear.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:12 AM
Jun 24

How are YOU doing? Anybody close by or easily reachable, who you could talk to? Sounds like it might be helpful. Hopefully you don’t have to mourn alone.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
18. I sent his mother a text that I
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:35 AM
Jun 24

need to mourn him with others who cared about him. She responded that they'll let me know about funeral arrangements, shiva.

Figarosmom

(6,827 posts)
14. That's awful.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:22 AM
Jun 24

Was it something congenital? Or a product of our country's Healthcare system? 50 is really young.

I'm sorry you lost a friend. Good friends are not so easy to come by these days.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
19. He took responsibility for his health being screwed up.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:39 AM
Jun 24

He ended up with cardiac stents, diabetes, etc. I think there is a combination of issues, including long term use of prescription meds, etc. He wasn't an alcoholic or illegal drug user.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
22. Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:42 AM
Jun 24

death. It will be awhile before he forgets this cargiver.

sdfernando

(5,800 posts)
23. I'm so sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:49 AM
Jun 24

Way too young to leave this world!

I hope you find peace and comfort in your memories.

niyad

(125,164 posts)
25. Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:02 AM
Jun 24

and comfort.

virgdem

(2,269 posts)
26. Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:05 AM
Jun 24

May his memory be a blessing💔

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
34. Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind,
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:43 AM
Jun 24

his memory will live in our household.

KitFox

(333 posts)
27. Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life!
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:11 AM
Jun 24

The suddenness and his youth somehow makes it harder, I’m sure. Sending gentle hugs🩷🩷🩷

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
36. I thought his heart condition was improving. His
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:48 AM
Jun 24

ejection fraction rate had been increasing. His diabetes had been problematic, though.

Thank you for your kindness.

KT2000

(21,612 posts)
30. I'm sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:31 AM
Jun 24

He was one of your custom-made family members. So special to find someone else on the same wavelength, so I can see how you will really miss him. Peace.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
38. Thank you so much for your
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:55 AM
Jun 24

thoughtful words. His vibrant personality was a gift. "Custom-made family member" is a perfect description.

no_hypocrisy

(52,242 posts)
32. Very sorry for your loss.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 05:50 AM
Jun 24

Some people come into our lives casually and leave as family. You were fortunate to have this man.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
40. Your words are so true.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 09:04 AM
Jun 24

In the movie "Knowing," Nicholas Cage's character, a cosmologist, struggles with his family's faith and his loss of faith after his wife's sudden, freakish death. Perspective, randomness, and possibly devine intervention are the real themes of this mysterious movie. Did God send this person to us? I choose to think this is true.

Marthe48

(21,204 posts)
43. I'm sorry for your loss
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 11:30 AM
Jun 24

Good people who become friends are hard to find. You and your son were blessed to have him, even for a short time.

Ilsa

(63,031 posts)
46. There were days when he was
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 09:52 PM
Jun 24

ill, and I wondered if his body was shutting down. He always bounced back.

His parents knew his life span would be shortened, and they planned for his passing. Of course nothing can prepare a parent emotionally for the actual loss of their adult child.

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

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