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Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:53 PM Monday

A dear friend died today. Heart attack.

He was less than 50 years old. He had been my son's caregiver for the last two years. He didn't treat me like an old lady even though we were 20 years apart age-wise. He was kind and friendly, considerate of my feelings. We teased each other about anything and everything. Hated politics. Despised Trump. I'm going to miss him like crazy.

He was the person I saw and talked to more than anyone except my grown boys.

46 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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A dear friend died today. Heart attack. (Original Post) Ilsa Monday OP
Holding you in my heart Attilatheblond Monday #1
Thank you so much. Ilsa Yesterday #11
Heart attack under 50....that is so young Pachamama Yesterday #2
He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess. Ilsa Yesterday #10
I'm so sorry, don't have words Shellback Squid Yesterday #3
Thank you. My Ilsa Yesterday #12
(((((hugs))))) UpInArms Yesterday #4
Thank you. I'll take the hugs, even vitual hugs. Ilsa Yesterday #13
Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss. MIButterfly Yesterday #5
Thank you. I keep thinking, Ilsa Yesterday #15
Seems he was a good man. May the angels care for him now. riversedge Yesterday #6
Thank you. I hope so. nt Ilsa Yesterday #16
Goodness. I am so sorry. May he rest in peace. LoisB Yesterday #7
Thank you for your kind words. nt Ilsa Yesterday #17
I'm so sorry for your loss. iemanja Yesterday #8
Thank you so much. It's a shock to the system. nt Ilsa Yesterday #21
I can imagine. iemanja Yesterday #29
So sorry to hear. calimary Yesterday #9
I sent his mother a text that I Ilsa Yesterday #18
That's awful. Figarosmom Yesterday #14
He took responsibility for his health being screwed up. Ilsa Yesterday #19
I am sorry for your and your sons' loss irisblue Yesterday #20
Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand Ilsa Yesterday #22
I'm so sorry sdfernando Yesterday #23
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Yesterday #24
Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace niyad Yesterday #25
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Yesterday #33
Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend. virgdem Yesterday #26
Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind, Ilsa Yesterday #34
Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life! KitFox Yesterday #27
I thought his heart condition was improving. His Ilsa Yesterday #36
Deepest condolences to you & your son SheltieLover Yesterday #28
Thank you so much. He was one-of-a-kind. nt Ilsa Yesterday #37
I'm sorry KT2000 Yesterday #30
Thank you so much for your Ilsa Yesterday #38
So sorry Nululu Yesterday #31
His presence in our lives was a gift Thank you Ilsa Yesterday #39
Very sorry for your loss. no_hypocrisy Yesterday #32
Your words are so true. Ilsa Yesterday #40
I am very sorry IIsa, May his memories be a blessing to you. and his family. debm55 Yesterday #35
Thank you so much. He was here when our family Ilsa Yesterday #41
He will forever be a part of your family. As your family was apart of him. debm55 Yesterday #42
I'm sorry for your loss Marthe48 Yesterday #43
Thank you so much. We were very blessed Ilsa 14 hrs ago #45
Nothing prepares us for such a loss. Condolences to everyone. ❤️ littlemissmartypants 19 hrs ago #44
There were days when he was Ilsa 14 hrs ago #46

Attilatheblond

(6,420 posts)
1. Holding you in my heart
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:58 PM
Monday

Words are no comfort, but know your loss is shouldered by others who care.

Pachamama

(17,354 posts)
2. Heart attack under 50....that is so young
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:00 AM
Yesterday

I am so sorry to hear this loss for both you and your son…and so sudden.

He sounds like he was a really kind and decent person with a loving heart that the world needs more of and not less.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
10. He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:17 AM
Yesterday

He was an ADHD kid with learning and memory difficulties born into a family of overachievers. He had a bit of that "if it feels good, do it," mentality, and was never quite fully mature. His wants typically overruled his thinking about consequences. He was really sweet, and we will miss him.

MIButterfly

(662 posts)
5. Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:13 AM
Yesterday

I hope good memories of your friend will eventually help ease your pain. I send to you my deepest condolences.

Love,
MIButterfly

calimary

(86,777 posts)
9. So sorry to hear.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:12 AM
Yesterday

How are YOU doing? Anybody close by or easily reachable, who you could talk to? Sounds like it might be helpful. Hopefully you don’t have to mourn alone.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
18. I sent his mother a text that I
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:35 AM
Yesterday

need to mourn him with others who cared about him. She responded that they'll let me know about funeral arrangements, shiva.

Figarosmom

(6,430 posts)
14. That's awful.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:22 AM
Yesterday

Was it something congenital? Or a product of our country's Healthcare system? 50 is really young.

I'm sorry you lost a friend. Good friends are not so easy to come by these days.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
19. He took responsibility for his health being screwed up.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:39 AM
Yesterday

He ended up with cardiac stents, diabetes, etc. I think there is a combination of issues, including long term use of prescription meds, etc. He wasn't an alcoholic or illegal drug user.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
22. Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:42 AM
Yesterday

death. It will be awhile before he forgets this cargiver.

sdfernando

(5,767 posts)
23. I'm so sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:49 AM
Yesterday

Way too young to leave this world!

I hope you find peace and comfort in your memories.

niyad

(124,629 posts)
25. Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:02 AM
Yesterday

and comfort.

virgdem

(2,265 posts)
26. Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:05 AM
Yesterday

May his memory be a blessing💔

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
34. Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind,
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:43 AM
Yesterday

his memory will live in our household.

KitFox

(324 posts)
27. Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life!
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:11 AM
Yesterday

The suddenness and his youth somehow makes it harder, I’m sure. Sending gentle hugs🩷🩷🩷

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
36. I thought his heart condition was improving. His
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:48 AM
Yesterday

ejection fraction rate had been increasing. His diabetes had been problematic, though.

Thank you for your kindness.

KT2000

(21,527 posts)
30. I'm sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 02:31 AM
Yesterday

He was one of your custom-made family members. So special to find someone else on the same wavelength, so I can see how you will really miss him. Peace.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
38. Thank you so much for your
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:55 AM
Yesterday

thoughtful words. His vibrant personality was a gift. "Custom-made family member" is a perfect description.

no_hypocrisy

(51,969 posts)
32. Very sorry for your loss.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 05:50 AM
Yesterday

Some people come into our lives casually and leave as family. You were fortunate to have this man.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
40. Your words are so true.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 09:04 AM
Yesterday

In the movie "Knowing," Nicholas Cage's character, a cosmologist, struggles with his family's faith and his loss of faith after his wife's sudden, freakish death. Perspective, randomness, and possibly devine intervention are the real themes of this mysterious movie. Did God send this person to us? I choose to think this is true.

Marthe48

(20,943 posts)
43. I'm sorry for your loss
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 11:30 AM
Yesterday

Good people who become friends are hard to find. You and your son were blessed to have him, even for a short time.

Ilsa

(62,953 posts)
46. There were days when he was
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 09:52 PM
14 hrs ago

ill, and I wondered if his body was shutting down. He always bounced back.

His parents knew his life span would be shortened, and they planned for his passing. Of course nothing can prepare a parent emotionally for the actual loss of their adult child.

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

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