Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 10:53 PM Jun 2025

A dear friend died today. Heart attack.

He was less than 50 years old. He had been my son's caregiver for the last two years. He didn't treat me like an old lady even though we were 20 years apart age-wise. He was kind and friendly, considerate of my feelings. We teased each other about anything and everything. Hated politics. Despised Trump. I'm going to miss him like crazy.

He was the person I saw and talked to more than anyone except my grown boys.

46 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
A dear friend died today. Heart attack. (Original Post) Ilsa Jun 2025 OP
Holding you in my heart Attilatheblond Jun 2025 #1
Thank you so much. Ilsa Jun 2025 #11
Heart attack under 50....that is so young Pachamama Jun 2025 #2
He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess. Ilsa Jun 2025 #10
I'm so sorry, don't have words Shellback Squid Jun 2025 #3
Thank you. My Ilsa Jun 2025 #12
(((((hugs))))) UpInArms Jun 2025 #4
Thank you. I'll take the hugs, even vitual hugs. Ilsa Jun 2025 #13
Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss. MIButterfly Jun 2025 #5
Thank you. I keep thinking, Ilsa Jun 2025 #15
Seems he was a good man. May the angels care for him now. riversedge Jun 2025 #6
Thank you. I hope so. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #16
Goodness. I am so sorry. May he rest in peace. LoisB Jun 2025 #7
Thank you for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #17
I'm so sorry for your loss. iemanja Jun 2025 #8
Thank you so much. It's a shock to the system. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #21
I can imagine. iemanja Jun 2025 #29
So sorry to hear. calimary Jun 2025 #9
I sent his mother a text that I Ilsa Jun 2025 #18
That's awful. Figarosmom Jun 2025 #14
He took responsibility for his health being screwed up. Ilsa Jun 2025 #19
I am sorry for your and your sons' loss irisblue Jun 2025 #20
Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand Ilsa Jun 2025 #22
I'm so sorry sdfernando Jun 2025 #23
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #24
Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace niyad Jun 2025 #25
Thank you so much for your kind words. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #33
Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend. virgdem Jun 2025 #26
Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind, Ilsa Jun 2025 #34
Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life! KitFox Jun 2025 #27
I thought his heart condition was improving. His Ilsa Jun 2025 #36
Deepest condolences to you & your son SheltieLover Jun 2025 #28
Thank you so much. He was one-of-a-kind. nt Ilsa Jun 2025 #37
I'm sorry KT2000 Jun 2025 #30
Thank you so much for your Ilsa Jun 2025 #38
So sorry Nululu Jun 2025 #31
His presence in our lives was a gift Thank you Ilsa Jun 2025 #39
Very sorry for your loss. no_hypocrisy Jun 2025 #32
Your words are so true. Ilsa Jun 2025 #40
I am very sorry IIsa, May his memories be a blessing to you. and his family. debm55 Jun 2025 #35
Thank you so much. He was here when our family Ilsa Jun 2025 #41
He will forever be a part of your family. As your family was apart of him. debm55 Jun 2025 #42
I'm sorry for your loss Marthe48 Jun 2025 #43
Thank you so much. We were very blessed Ilsa Jun 2025 #45
Nothing prepares us for such a loss. Condolences to everyone. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Jun 2025 #44
There were days when he was Ilsa Jun 2025 #46

Attilatheblond

(8,147 posts)
1. Holding you in my heart
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 10:58 PM
Jun 2025

Words are no comfort, but know your loss is shouldered by others who care.

Pachamama

(17,540 posts)
2. Heart attack under 50....that is so young
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:00 PM
Jun 2025

I am so sorry to hear this loss for both you and your son…and so sudden.

He sounds like he was a really kind and decent person with a loving heart that the world needs more of and not less.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
10. He was a good person, as well as a bit of a mess.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:17 AM
Jun 2025

He was an ADHD kid with learning and memory difficulties born into a family of overachievers. He had a bit of that "if it feels good, do it," mentality, and was never quite fully mature. His wants typically overruled his thinking about consequences. He was really sweet, and we will miss him.

MIButterfly

(1,889 posts)
5. Dear Ilsa, I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Jun 23, 2025, 11:13 PM
Jun 2025

I hope good memories of your friend will eventually help ease your pain. I send to you my deepest condolences.

Love,
MIButterfly

calimary

(88,863 posts)
9. So sorry to hear.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:12 AM
Jun 2025

How are YOU doing? Anybody close by or easily reachable, who you could talk to? Sounds like it might be helpful. Hopefully you don’t have to mourn alone.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
18. I sent his mother a text that I
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:35 AM
Jun 2025

need to mourn him with others who cared about him. She responded that they'll let me know about funeral arrangements, shiva.

Figarosmom

(9,648 posts)
14. That's awful.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:22 AM
Jun 2025

Was it something congenital? Or a product of our country's Healthcare system? 50 is really young.

I'm sorry you lost a friend. Good friends are not so easy to come by these days.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
19. He took responsibility for his health being screwed up.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:39 AM
Jun 2025

He ended up with cardiac stents, diabetes, etc. I think there is a combination of issues, including long term use of prescription meds, etc. He wasn't an alcoholic or illegal drug user.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
22. Thank you. My disabled son doesn't understand
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:42 AM
Jun 2025

death. It will be awhile before he forgets this cargiver.

sdfernando

(6,007 posts)
23. I'm so sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 12:49 AM
Jun 2025

Way too young to leave this world!

I hope you find peace and comfort in your memories.

niyad

(129,334 posts)
25. Holding all of you in love and light in this grieving time. Huggggs for peace
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:02 AM
Jun 2025

and comfort.

virgdem

(2,291 posts)
26. Sending deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:05 AM
Jun 2025

May his memory be a blessing💔

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
34. Thank you. As long as I am alive and in my right mind,
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 07:43 AM
Jun 2025

his memory will live in our household.

KitFox

(502 posts)
27. Oh, how tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of this special person in your life!
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:11 AM
Jun 2025

The suddenness and his youth somehow makes it harder, I’m sure. Sending gentle hugs🩷🩷🩷

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
36. I thought his heart condition was improving. His
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 07:48 AM
Jun 2025

ejection fraction rate had been increasing. His diabetes had been problematic, though.

Thank you for your kindness.

KT2000

(21,907 posts)
30. I'm sorry
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 01:31 AM
Jun 2025

He was one of your custom-made family members. So special to find someone else on the same wavelength, so I can see how you will really miss him. Peace.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
38. Thank you so much for your
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 07:55 AM
Jun 2025

thoughtful words. His vibrant personality was a gift. "Custom-made family member" is a perfect description.

no_hypocrisy

(54,131 posts)
32. Very sorry for your loss.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 04:50 AM
Jun 2025

Some people come into our lives casually and leave as family. You were fortunate to have this man.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
40. Your words are so true.
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:04 AM
Jun 2025

In the movie "Knowing," Nicholas Cage's character, a cosmologist, struggles with his family's faith and his loss of faith after his wife's sudden, freakish death. Perspective, randomness, and possibly devine intervention are the real themes of this mysterious movie. Did God send this person to us? I choose to think this is true.

Marthe48

(22,628 posts)
43. I'm sorry for your loss
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 10:30 AM
Jun 2025

Good people who become friends are hard to find. You and your son were blessed to have him, even for a short time.

Ilsa

(63,781 posts)
46. There were days when he was
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 08:52 PM
Jun 2025

ill, and I wondered if his body was shutting down. He always bounced back.

His parents knew his life span would be shortened, and they planned for his passing. Of course nothing can prepare a parent emotionally for the actual loss of their adult child.

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

Latest Discussions»The DU Lounge»A dear friend died today....