a quick anecdote about when my former boss tried to unduly subjugate me.

I made a generic negligible mistake. And my boss rhetorically stated, "What's the matter XXX? You got your head up your ass?"

I made a mental note to file it away until needed.

And three hours later, the same boss bellowed for me to come into his office. I didn't move and kept typing with the headphones. He got up, came to the door jamb, and called my name again. And again, nothing from me that recognized his call. He ambled up to me, touched my shoulder. I looked up, seemingly surprised. "Jack, were you calling me?" "Yeah, I've been calling for you for three minutes. What's the matter?"

** PAUSE **

Me: I'm sorry, Jack. I guess that I just didn't hear you because MY HEAD WAS TOO FAR UP MY ASS!!!

Let's say we had a better understanding after that encounter.

These might not be subtle but they make the point.

If knowledge of our products and services were compared to a pool he'd be limited to swimming in the shallow end.

The efficiency of our department is inversely proportional to his presence in the office.

Loyalty is a two-way street and he's stuck in a cul-de-sac.

Because his boss likes him you are fucked, so just put the "qualities" you listed in flattering terms and let it go.

micromanaging = extremely detail-focused
lies = creative or imaginative
plays favorites = rewards some colleagues well
no clue as to how our customers use our products = tries hard to understand how our customers ...
ass kisser his boss loves = admiring and loyal* to his supervisor


*or some other descriptive that can be read 2 ways.