Isn't it wild when people who basically qualify as complete strangers are willing to help a person more than their own flesh and blood?

'Thicker than water' my ass.

Some of us — no matter how generous we are for years and years, and how much we support our “blood” family emotionally, physically, and financially — they are cruel and cold as ice (pun intended).

Thankfully, our loving DU family makes up for the pain many of us have felt in the past.

I am so blessed and proud to be among this wonderful substitute family.


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In late 1999, I found my brother after almost 20 years apart. I cry telling this because we used to be very close when I lived with my father between foster homes and group homes. We met a couple of times and would talk about our differences as he was very rigidly religious and very strict as a parent and I was more rebellious and questioning of authority etc...
Into the summer of 2000, every time I would call him, he would answer with a hello and some version of "Hey, I was just thinking about you" all the while never receiving a single call initiated by him. Apparently, he was terrified that I was a bad influence on his kids and would lead them into temptation and rebellion.
Here we are 25 years later, and he still refuses to speak to me even though his kids are in their late 20's and early 30's.
To condemn a sibling to 25 years of familial purgatory if you will, after 20 years of separation reminds me that family is based on the foundation of love and if that isn't there, then there really isn't one, no matter a shared name or lineage.

I hear you, and having been there, I know how emotionally excruciating it is.

Please know how much you are loved and cherished by so many here on DU. Our arms are open and we will help you get through this current challenge.
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And done!
Hoping others in our DU family can help, too!


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Your generosity in deed and spirit is so uplifting to me every day. You are an inspiration that fills me with awe.
Thank you.

I truly wish you the best. I was re-reading your posts on GoFundMe and they really hit hard today, as one of my sisters is about at the breaking point with her low back issues. She is contemplating lumbar fusion (multi-level, I think three discs but possibly more). So we are collecting all the info and experience we can so she can make the best decision. Back issues are so frustrating and I am just so sorry to see you or anyone else have to live with this, on top of the other challenges you are facing. Your ongoing courage, positive attitude, fearlessness really are an inspiration to me. I wish I had half your perseverance and mental toughness.

With every cell in my body I want you to prevail. In a sense, you are already triumphing because your spirit seems so strong. But I hope the rest gets settled and you get the assistance you deserve.

I really appreciate the kind words of support you've offered.
As badly as my 4 back operations have gone, with my last being a second fusion (l2-l4), I can only recommend it as suffering without some surgical relief will only get worse.
I've dealt with chronic back pain since the summer of 1996 and while I wish there was a fix for me, I've resigned myself to the distinct possibility of having things be like this and worse going forward. The pain is really difficult and debilitating often but my state of mind has to stay positive or there really wouldn't be much reason to keep trying.
Please give your sister my best, and further, let her know if she wants, she can DU mail me anytime with questions or if she needs support.
Wish all my best wishes Mike 03,
John.