to take away your sadness and grief.

If I could, I would, not just for you, but also for me. I wept for my Lily again this morning. There is something so pure and good about the love of and for a "dog" ... which is such a poor description of someone who only loves you - being with and near you - never judging and always supportive. Someone who listens to every part of your heart and never lets anyone else know what they know of and about you.

After Lily died, I thought I had a sheltie sized hole in my heart and what I found was that I had a Lily sized hole in my heart and nothing will ever fill that space.

The only thing I know to do is to continue to talk to her and love all the things that she was for me.

My virtual arms are around you, my friend.

I am so glad that the son of your friend is wise enough to understand that love does mean everything.

human loved one. Our pets often give us unconditional love, without the complications of human relationships. Their lives are short compared to typical human lifespan, and losing them feels unfair for that reason. Please don't beat yourself up for grieving so much.

I'm sorry your best friend of 60 years reacted so badly when you offered to help him recover from alcoholism. But I'd guess that was his addiction reacting, that he wasn't really serious about wanting to quit, and your willingness to help seemed threatening to him. You did the right thing by offering love and support. He wasn't able to cope with it, and with the reality of needing to overcome alcoholism, at that moment. I hope he'll reach out to you and apologize and accept your help.

Sending more hugs... We're here for you.

Hugs to you. Im no expert, but, if you want my thoughts, do something... dosnt matter what. Go out of the house. Shop, walk at a city/town/ shopping center. Do. Hugs again.

Grieve the loss of your friendship. Your friend is dependent on alcohol. he is sick and needs the alcohol more than he needs or wants anything else. He isn't your friend. He looks like your friend, sounds like your friend, but he is a shell of the person he was.

My husband had a friend who was an alcoholic. He stopped a few times when our friendship was intact. He told me that the can of beer was his friend, like a little buddy he could count on. Even though he had a beautiful wife, 2 healthy sons, and all of us who were friends. His wife had a job and would get up early to go to work, so she didn't want his friends coming over and staying late. So we all hung out at our house. He loved classic cars and had a cherry red 1966 Chevy that he loved the most of the cars he owned. He was out driving around drinking and wrecked, totaled, the car. He was pretty banged up. My husband and I went over to his house to see him. He wouldn't see us. his wife told us that he said that if we only cared enough to come to his house when he was injured, we didn't need to come at all. This is spite of trying to be respectful of his wife's preferences. That was the last time we had communication with him, probably 1988. He died last year. This was the guy who loaned us the down payment to buy our first house, who was funny, who was a master mechanic. My husband was hurt by the rebuff and I imagine our friend didn't know how to make up. That was a 17 year friendship.

One of the people close to me, someone I've known since childhood, is a high functioning substance abuser. They recently had surgery and were treated for cancer, but continue to drink, smoke marijuana and tobacco. Has been trying to quit smoking tobacco for 2 years. Doesn't mention quitting pot. Just as their sister did, I worry about them. If their sister couldn't say the things they took to heart if the cancer didn't alarm them, I have nothing to say. I think that they are trying to assure me that they're trying, but I can see they aren't.

It's been a couple of days since your dog passed away. But if you're having trouble handling the loss, you should see someone. It might be that if you've gotten any new meds lately, they might be causing the uncontrollable crying. I vaguely remember reading something about crying as a side effect.

We're here for you.

As you get older you start noticing the complications and all those black and white ideas become a million shades of gray. People you trusted stab you in the back and people you thought were assholes turn out not to be. Your pets whom you loved unconditionally and who loved you unconditionally die, and that can hurt worse than anything.

“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle; easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.” (Irving Townsend)

Life's a bitch sometimes, and sometimes it's wonderful. I have no answers.

complicated, incredibly beautiful world, so do not beat yourself up that you cannot. Fortunately, you have a large system of love out there in the physical world, just as you have a large system of love here in our little section of the virtual world.

I think contacting mental health support is a good idea. But may I offer a couple of ideas for the vastness of your grieving? You and your wife have been going through so much recently, in addition to the daily and ongoing horror show going on around us. Stress piled on stress, never-ending. Your Jona was always there, one stable, sane point in the chaos. Suddenly, that stable pillar of support is gone. Of course you are grieving.

Thank goodness for your beautiful young friend. For love. For friends. And thank Goddess for you, dear friend.

but if you feel like you are out of control with the grief, by all means get some outside assistance. that is what it is for.

your old friend wasn't ungrateful, he was afraid. don't take the rejection personally. it was fear.
your young friend is a good one, he is NOT afraid. also he is young. fear may arrive with life's injuries but if he is supported and LUCKY he will survive and even thrive. nurture that.

They respond to you not based on you but based on themselves.


The alcoholic? He was responding by how he felt about himself.
The kid with a heart? Your experience made him feel…

You can never really understand another person.

Sorry about your dog.
The only time I ever saw my dad cry was when he came home from the vet’s without our Charlie.
Tears me up to remember, even after 60 years.

the loss of one of my cats than I ever felt over the loss of anyone in my family. My cats were my best friends and provided unconditional love, no strings attached. The same can't be said for family members. It will get better with time, of course, but it'll always be there somewhere. What a sweet response from your young neighbor.