Dumbass Laid-Off RFT Employee Who Won't Leave Now Running for Governor

by Daniel Hill
Former music editor, St. Louis Riverfront Times


A lot can happen in a week.

One day you're gainfully employed, living the dream, recently instructed to work from home and looking forward to working in your underwear going forward.

The next, you're out of a job, alongside several of your coworkers. Beyond that, you just decide that you will not, in fact, agree to being laid off, so you keep working despite not receiving a paycheck.

And then you run for governor.

In the absence of anything better to do with myself, and because our current governor is dumb as rocks, refuses to do anything meaningful in the face of a global pandemic, wasn't even voted into his current office and has never once even tried to woo us with a machine gun, I am announcing my candidacy for the 58th governor of the great state of Missouri.

Read more: https://www.riverfronttimes.com/newsblog/2020/03/23/dumbass-laid-off-rft-employee-who-wont-leave-now-running-for-governor