My theory is that I was selected as a family scapegoat for two reasons:

1. A warning to my mother if she stepped out of line; and
2. To train me to accept abuse if/when I ever got married.

Well, I fought my father every chance I could, even before my adolescence. And it infuriated and frustrated him.

And I never married. My mother had bachelors and masters degrees. She was more than intelligent compared to most of the wives of the Fifties. And she was more or less held hostage in a very bad marriage. She once thought of leaving, but feared her disadvantage of being given minimal alimony and perhaps losing custody of the kids.

i may have been 10 the last time my father beat mom. drunk as usual. he had wrecked the car. loud argument and thumps. crying.

next day her brother and father visited for a long talk. they were both very big guys and my uncle was a cop. dad never drank again and did not, in my memory, again beat her.

We had at least 3 women in the neighborhood who were probably abused but as kids we didn't know any better. They all eventually got divorced in the 1970s.

And my mom did leave, after a couple years of threats to kill her during the beatings. She finally left all 5 of us left at home, 3 in diapers. Guess who became the house slave for the next seven years until I found my mom and managed to help her kidnap us and take us away from my dad, which we did. I have many scars, some only forgotten because they are covered over with other scars.

I got married in my mid 20s, that was over in a couple years when he became physically violent while drunk. He got drunk a lot after we got married. Wasn't sticking around to watch my life become that of my parents.

Been a lot of rough road but somehow I've made it decades longer than I expected.