There is so much stress right now.
Happy little trees, Mark, happy little trees.

In the beginning, I'd wake up and panic since I was sure that I'd really had a drink. But then the dreams changed, I'd be looking for a drink, and couldn't find one - and I'd feel guilty. One dream that stuck with me was about a liquor store - which was run by my AA sponsor! And those I ran into there - in my dream - were other women I knew in recovery. And I couldn't find what I was looking for there, either. The important thing to know is that this is normal.

and I have been clean and sober (with the condition of using Suboxone for 22 yrs, I realize some in the anonymous community dont consider that being clean, I would like to discuss that in another thread.)

And it is just as perplexing and upsetting as they were when I was a newbie.

I had 14 years on April 30th, in the beginning I didn't think I could make a week. And, as they say, there are a lot of miracles on this thread, including you.

Congrats on that!




(14 days is huge also, I remember those days)

And one of the two others I celebrated my first year sober with was also on Suboxone. Last I knew he was doing okay, but my friend who had two years when I had one ended up going back out - and still is. They both were in county treatment court, treatment instead of jail, and had worked so hard. *sigh*

And I remember well not thinking I could make 14 days, but I stuck with it. I now lead an AA meeting on Mondays and represent my group at District, second time I've done that. My previous "home group," a beginners' meeting, hasn't met since the pandemic since it was at a residential treatment center.

And I'm making brownies for a meeting next Sunday, it's a celebration for a woman who has 47 years - July 4. 1976!