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Lifeafter70

(721 posts)
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 01:45 AM Nov 5

It's going to be a long night

Last edited Wed Nov 5, 2025, 07:13 PM - Edit history (1)

Tomorrow we have an appointment with hospice for my son. He is out of options for his ACC cancer and can no longer control his pain with pain management. This is going to be a very long night.
He has a fear of hospital and will not go.
We spent Sunday night in the emergency room due to a fall from fainting.
Please send good vibes our way.

Edit to add: hospice nurse has been here and started him on different pain meds set him up with a social worker, cna, chaplain and other services. She will be back tomorrow to check on him. She also got him a wheelchair so he can get out more (he has had a few falls lately). He feels someone is actually listening to him in regards to pain and anxiety.
Once again DU has got us through difficult times. Thank You Thank You Patricia

24 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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It's going to be a long night (Original Post) Lifeafter70 Nov 5 OP
🙌☮️🫶 godsentme Nov 5 #1
Thank you Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #18
Wishing both of you strength and peace and calm question everything Nov 5 #2
Thank you he is in so much pain but refuses to go to the hospital Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #4
Wishing you strength and peace at this difficult time. waterwatcher123 Nov 5 #3
Sending strength to you and your family democrank Nov 5 #5
I'm so sorry qanda Nov 5 #6
.. BlueWaveNeverEnd Nov 5 #7
Wish you the very best angrychair Nov 5 #8
My uncle had hospice and they were truly wonderful Rhiannon12866 Nov 5 #9
They were here today Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #20
I am so sorry. murielm99 Nov 5 #10
My heart goes out to you, your son, and all your loved ones. alwaysinasnit Nov 5 #11
All my good energy to you and your family Randomthought Nov 5 #12
Love and strength to all of you sdfernando Nov 5 #13
Best hopes and wishes, I am so sorry irisblue Nov 5 #14
Hospice nurses are the best. Irish_Dem Nov 5 #15
That is my hope Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #16
See edit and thank you Irish Dem Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #17
Yes I used to do some work with Hospice. Irish_Dem Nov 5 #19
Are the meds kicking in yet? Irish_Dem Nov 5 #21
Yes he is finally sleeping Lifeafter70 Nov 5 #22
Fabulous, he is sleeping. Irish_Dem Nov 5 #23
Nothing really to add, except that I'll be praying for your son (and you). hamsterjill Thursday #24

godsentme

(193 posts)
1. 🙌☮️🫶
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 01:55 AM
Nov 5

Sending good vibes. Wishing your son to get relief from pain and fear of hospitals. Wishing you peace and comfort.

Lifeafter70

(721 posts)
18. Thank you
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 07:22 PM
Nov 5

His fear of hospitals is because of two really extensive surgeries that left him pretty scarred due to tumor growth on catoid artery. The Second surgery was 16 hours long.

Hospice has been here and they are wonderful.

Lifeafter70

(721 posts)
4. Thank you he is in so much pain but refuses to go to the hospital
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 02:03 AM
Nov 5

Acc cancer travels along nerve endings so the pain is unbearable

qanda

(10,430 posts)
6. I'm so sorry
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 02:37 AM
Nov 5

May his journey be graced with peace and comfort. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. Sending you love.

Rhiannon12866

(246,821 posts)
9. My uncle had hospice and they were truly wonderful
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 03:36 AM
Nov 5

Wishing you all strength and relief of pain for your son. And, of course, sending all those powerful DU vibes that we can muster...

Randomthought

(971 posts)
12. All my good energy to you and your family
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 04:05 AM
Nov 5

I can't even imagine what you are going through. All my best wishes to you.

sdfernando

(5,965 posts)
13. Love and strength to all of you
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 04:23 AM
Nov 5

I am in tears for you. Hug your son and be close. Let him know you love him.

hug:

Irish_Dem

(77,782 posts)
15. Hospice nurses are the best.
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 05:33 AM
Nov 5

They will take good care of your son.
And hospice does not let their patients suffer.
They will get control of his pain.

Irish_Dem

(77,782 posts)
19. Yes I used to do some work with Hospice.
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 07:22 PM
Nov 5

The hospice nurses are the best.
They are totally focused on patient comfort, well being, quality of life.

The Hospice nurses come in, take charge and get it all sorted out.
Just like yours did.

Your loved one and family are in good hands.

I am happy to hear it worked out so well.

Irish_Dem

(77,782 posts)
21. Are the meds kicking in yet?
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 07:31 PM
Nov 5

Is he getting pain relief?

Let the nurse know if your son is still in severe pain.

Lifeafter70

(721 posts)
22. Yes he is finally sleeping
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 08:08 PM
Nov 5

He is so relieved. Someone is actually listening to him. Pain docs are good but when it comes to cancer pain there are a lot of laws that limit what they can prescribe and how much. He has been on oxy for 10 years due to three recurrence of tumor growth. His pain doc thought he needed to lower his does during his last remission. When he had his third recurrence he wouldn't increase it cause he thought he was doing ok. ACC cells are microscopic and slow growing so it can take months before recurrence shows up on scan not the case for increased pain.
His hospice nurse explained that long time use like he had leads to tolerance and
uncontrolled pain. This leads to self
medicating in many paitents.
He is so relieved that someone takes his pain seriously and not treat him like he is just seeking drugs.

Irish_Dem

(77,782 posts)
23. Fabulous, he is sleeping.
Wed Nov 5, 2025, 08:22 PM
Nov 5

Thank God.
Sleep is so important.
And being pain free.
This is one of the hallmarks of the hospice nurse.
They will not let patients suffer.

And they are holistic, assembling a specialized team to take care of the patient

Yes regular docs just don't want to give the right meds or dosages that hospice patients need.
Yes long term use decreases effectiveness and more meds are needed to do the job.

When a patient is terminal we should not worry about drug addiction issues or drug seeking.
It no longer matters. It is critical to get the patient the pain relief he needs.
This is the difference between a regular doc and the hospice docs and nurses.

It is great that your son is doing well enough to get a wheel chair so he can get around
in a safe way. And that he has crew of people coming to give him specialized services.

So he is doing well and will do better when the team is in place helping him.
Everyone is great, the health aides, the chaplain, social worker, etc.

This is all good news.

hamsterjill

(16,792 posts)
24. Nothing really to add, except that I'll be praying for your son (and you).
Thu Nov 6, 2025, 10:20 PM
Thursday

Prayer is my practice. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

Sending you love and a great big hug!

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