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Mental Health Support
Related: About this forumTrauma overload
My life is falling apart. Spouse of 30 years moved out 11 weeks ago leaving a note; 4 surgeries/5 general anesthesias in the past year and needing 3 more surgeries; lost 4 dogs in a year; and that just starts the list.
In an effort to develop a new routine and be among people, I started taking my dog, Jenny, to the bark park every morning between 0530 and 0545 (were in Phoenix so it gets HOT early and stays HOT late).
This morning Jen & I arrived as usual. Maybe 10 minutes after we got there, I looked up and saw retriever mom falling sideways to the concrete pad under the shaded picnic tables. She was breathing when I got to her, but not conscious. I called 911 got the drool rag out of Jenns bag and started applying pressure while talking to 911. Retriever mom did not bring her cell phone to the park with her. GFD and EMS came. Retriever mom argued about going to ED, but was finally convinced maybe she should since she couldnt remember her phone number, home address, numbers for emergency contacts or how she fell. I took responsibility for her dog leaving GFD & EMS my contact info.
I just talked to retriever moms very elderly husband. She has cranial bleeding and has been moved from ED to ICU.
I did fine during the emergency and I got the dogs home safe, but Im a mess now. Im just exhausted. Im tired of being strong. Im tired of faking it til I make it. I was already feeling very scared and lonely but it made me realize that if I was the one who fell, I got nobody here to call or take care of my dog. Im just so angry that I let myself get into this situation.

UpInArms
(53,279 posts)that you are feeling so overwhelmed and alone
You are awesome and probably saved that womans life
and all I can do is give you a huge and warm virtual hug
(((((HUG)))))
Twoflower
(1,040 posts)badhair77
(4,946 posts)at the park. Please do something special for yourself, like eat a favorite food, take a warm shower, give Jenny a sweet hug, anything, and know you are appreciated. I hope things improve for you. If I were closer Id take you some cake or flowers, and a treat for Jenny. Sounds like she was very cooperative with the emergency.
JMCKUSICK
(3,645 posts)You are strong, and in that strength you saved a life today.
Please accept our immense gratitude for not turning a blind eye, for acting because who you are to the core, requires you to.
Please accept that as difficult as everything is right now, and please know I relate, things will never be so hard that you have to betray your souls mission.
Please take a few moments, especially if you are in recovery, and create an accountability plan. I don't mean accountability as in sobriety, I mean create a contact list with friends where you provide that human touch for each other along with the natural preventative effect that has on fighting despair.
I love your name, it has obvious spiritual meaning, if you need spiritual support, please please please treat yourself no differently than you would that retriever mother. You deserve it too.
Love, John ❤️
Phoenix61
(18,528 posts)one very elderly man has a chance of spending another day with his wife all because of you.
Turbineguy
(39,240 posts)That's GOOD.
Picaro
(2,163 posts)spooky3
(37,771 posts)And if you need help I hope someone like you will see it and step up.
it sucks anyway you look at it. Please don't give up your super power, there isn't enough of you out there.
sage
cate94
(2,995 posts)I hope you can take comfort in the knowledge that you are a hero and did everything you needed to do today. Man thats a very scary event! But you gave that woman and her dog a chance for another day! That is huge! Thanks for doing such good.
BaronChocula
(3,143 posts)and even pat yourself on the back. You deserve it. Many people would have done what you did, but YOU were the one who was there.
Feel free to update. Everyone's pulling for you.
mdmc
(29,371 posts)
spooky3
(37,771 posts)I hope youre feeling better.
maspaha
(621 posts)I am overwhelmed. I am so grateful for your kind words and encouragement.
I will be fine
if for no other reason than to spite my gonna be ex and cash in on years of alimony.
Im just tired and I know I will lose yet another dog in the coming weeks. She is an almost 16 year old cattle dog mix who can barely walk and breathing is labored, but still enjoys a home cooked meal. When she is gone it will just be me and Jenny.
I got lots of hugs at the bark park this morning. Retriever mom is still in ICU. Please include us in your thoughts and prayers.
hamsterjill
(16,369 posts)First, sending you hugs and hopes for peace and calm. Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life, and it's no wonder you are overwhelmed.
I run a cat sanctuary. I was involved in rescue for many decades and finally realized a long-held dream. I bought a small piece of property outside of the city, and moved all of the colony cats out here into a sanctuary for them to live our their remaining lives. Many of them are quite old and some have health problems. They were the "unadoptables". They are in a large confined area where they are safe from predators, etc. They have a heated and cooled area, as well as several "catio" areas where they can move about. It's big enough to accommodate well the number that I have.
I lose them regularly because of age, etc. It hurts like hell. It impacts me in ways that I don't even realize, I think. Then, of course, that coupled with all else that is going on in the world with Trump, etc., there is simply a great deal of sadness.
I cope by trying to remember the purpose of all of this, and by simply putting one foot in front of the other. The ones still living need me, and I am determined not to let them down. I love them each and every one, individually and completely. I no longer take in any new ones as I'm old and I need to finish what I've started here without adding more to the equation. I think when you are actively rescuing and you have the "highs" of getting one off the street, into a home, etc., that mitigates the "lows" of losing one. But now, without the "high", I have only the "low" of the loss. It's been a mind game to keep myself sane and figure this out. I created a garden area behind the cat enclosure. I spend a lot of time out there just sitting and thinking. I've worked hard and made it beautiful. It's my safe place, and it helps having it.
Wishing you all the very best...