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maspaha

(621 posts)
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 03:24 PM Aug 1

Trauma overload

My life is falling apart. Spouse of 30 years moved out 11 weeks ago leaving a note; 4 surgeries/5 general anesthesias in the past year and needing 3 more surgeries; lost 4 dogs in a year; and that just starts the list.

In an effort to develop a new routine and be among people, I started taking my dog, Jenny, to the bark park every morning between 0530 and 0545 (we’re in Phoenix so it gets HOT early and stays HOT late).

This morning Jen & I arrived as usual. Maybe 10 minutes after we got there, I looked up and saw retriever mom falling sideways to the concrete pad under the shaded picnic tables. She was breathing when I got to her, but not conscious. I called 911 got the drool rag out of Jenn’s bag and started applying pressure while talking to 911. Retriever mom did not bring her cell phone to the park with her. GFD and EMS came. Retriever mom argued about going to ED, but was finally convinced maybe she should since she couldn’t remember her phone number, home address, numbers for emergency contacts or how she fell. I took responsibility for her dog leaving GFD & EMS my contact info.

I just talked to retriever mom’s very elderly husband. She has cranial bleeding and has been moved from ED to ICU.

I did fine during the emergency and I got the dogs home safe, but I’m a mess now. I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of faking it til I make it. I was already feeling very scared and lonely but it made me realize that if I was the one who fell, I got nobody here to call or take care of my dog. I’m just so angry that I let myself get into this situation.

15 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Trauma overload (Original Post) maspaha Aug 1 OP
I am so sorry UpInArms Aug 1 #1
You sound like a hero to me. Twoflower Aug 1 #2
You really stepped up to help badhair77 Aug 1 #3
First and foremost Maspaha, JMCKUSICK Aug 1 #4
I'm so sorry. You've had a lot to deal with but it seems Phoenix61 Aug 1 #5
You were able to provide somebody some badly needed help. Turbineguy Aug 1 #6
So very sorry Picaro Aug 1 #7
You may have saved TWO lives today. spooky3 Aug 1 #8
I'm sorry sagetea Aug 1 #9
I'm sorry things have been so hard cate94 Aug 1 #10
Hope you've had some time to rest BaronChocula Aug 1 #11
It is nice to help others in need mdmc Aug 1 #12
How are you doing today? spooky3 Aug 2 #13
Thank you ALL for your love and support maspaha Aug 2 #14
The loss of pets that we care about can have a profound impact. hamsterjill Aug 3 #15

UpInArms

(53,279 posts)
1. I am so sorry
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 03:29 PM
Aug 1

that you are feeling so overwhelmed and alone …

You are awesome and probably saved that woman’s life … and all I can do is give you a huge and warm virtual hug

(((((HUG)))))

badhair77

(4,946 posts)
3. You really stepped up to help
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 03:57 PM
Aug 1

at the park. Please do something special for yourself, like eat a favorite food, take a warm shower, give Jenny a sweet hug, anything, and know you are appreciated. I hope things improve for you. If I were closer I’d take you some cake or flowers, and a treat for Jenny. Sounds like she was very cooperative with the emergency.

JMCKUSICK

(3,645 posts)
4. First and foremost Maspaha,
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 05:56 PM
Aug 1

You are strong, and in that strength you saved a life today.
Please accept our immense gratitude for not turning a blind eye, for acting because who you are to the core, requires you to.
Please accept that as difficult as everything is right now, and please know I relate, things will never be so hard that you have to betray your souls mission.
Please take a few moments, especially if you are in recovery, and create an accountability plan. I don't mean accountability as in sobriety, I mean create a contact list with friends where you provide that human touch for each other along with the natural preventative effect that has on fighting despair.
I love your name, it has obvious spiritual meaning, if you need spiritual support, please please please treat yourself no differently than you would that retriever mother. You deserve it too.

Love, John ❤️

Phoenix61

(18,528 posts)
5. I'm so sorry. You've had a lot to deal with but it seems
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 05:57 PM
Aug 1

one very elderly man has a chance of spending another day with his wife all because of you.

spooky3

(37,771 posts)
8. You may have saved TWO lives today.
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 06:09 PM
Aug 1

And if you need help I hope someone like you will see it and step up.

sagetea

(1,516 posts)
9. I'm sorry
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 06:16 PM
Aug 1

it sucks anyway you look at it. Please don't give up your super power, there isn't enough of you out there.


sage

cate94

(2,995 posts)
10. I'm sorry things have been so hard
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 06:17 PM
Aug 1

I hope you can take comfort in the knowledge that you are a hero and did everything you needed to do today. Man that’s a very scary event! But you gave that woman and her dog a chance for another day! That is huge! Thanks for doing such good.

BaronChocula

(3,143 posts)
11. Hope you've had some time to rest
Fri Aug 1, 2025, 06:21 PM
Aug 1

and even pat yourself on the back. You deserve it. Many people would have done what you did, but YOU were the one who was there.

Feel free to update. Everyone's pulling for you.

maspaha

(621 posts)
14. Thank you ALL for your love and support
Sat Aug 2, 2025, 04:03 PM
Aug 2

I am overwhelmed. I am so grateful for your kind words and encouragement.

I will be fine…if for no other reason than to spite my gonna be ex and cash in on years of alimony.

I’m just tired and I know I will lose yet another dog in the coming weeks. She is an almost 16 year old cattle dog mix who can barely walk and breathing is labored, but still enjoys a home cooked meal. When she is gone it will just be me and Jenny.

I got lots of hugs at the bark park this morning. Retriever mom is still in ICU. Please include us in your thoughts and prayers.

hamsterjill

(16,369 posts)
15. The loss of pets that we care about can have a profound impact.
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 10:04 AM
Aug 3

First, sending you hugs and hopes for peace and calm. Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life, and it's no wonder you are overwhelmed.

I run a cat sanctuary. I was involved in rescue for many decades and finally realized a long-held dream. I bought a small piece of property outside of the city, and moved all of the colony cats out here into a sanctuary for them to live our their remaining lives. Many of them are quite old and some have health problems. They were the "unadoptables". They are in a large confined area where they are safe from predators, etc. They have a heated and cooled area, as well as several "catio" areas where they can move about. It's big enough to accommodate well the number that I have.

I lose them regularly because of age, etc. It hurts like hell. It impacts me in ways that I don't even realize, I think. Then, of course, that coupled with all else that is going on in the world with Trump, etc., there is simply a great deal of sadness.

I cope by trying to remember the purpose of all of this, and by simply putting one foot in front of the other. The ones still living need me, and I am determined not to let them down. I love them each and every one, individually and completely. I no longer take in any new ones as I'm old and I need to finish what I've started here without adding more to the equation. I think when you are actively rescuing and you have the "highs" of getting one off the street, into a home, etc., that mitigates the "lows" of losing one. But now, without the "high", I have only the "low" of the loss. It's been a mind game to keep myself sane and figure this out. I created a garden area behind the cat enclosure. I spend a lot of time out there just sitting and thinking. I've worked hard and made it beautiful. It's my safe place, and it helps having it.

Wishing you all the very best...

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