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Jilly_in_VA

(12,756 posts)
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 04:08 PM Aug 3

Parents In Other Countries Do This 1 Thing -- And American Kids Might Be Missing Out.

My son, age 14, loves watching the Japanese show ‘Old Enough’ on Netflix. The premise is that young children — ages 4, 3 and even 2 — are sent to run errands by themselves. Cleverly disguised camera crews trail them on their journeys while their parents wait for them at home or some other predetermined meeting point. The kids walk though neighborhoods, cross the street, navigate public transit and manage interactions with shopkeepers. One little girl carries her mother’s work pants to be mended. Another child purchases dumplings from a vendor.

The children’s focus and determination is captivating, and it’s impossible not to become invested in their success at the task. The kids are also adorable. Their reactions and facial expressions regularly crack my son up. But that isn’t the show’s only allure. The sheer implausibility of the whole endeavor draws him in.

“You would’ve never let me do something like this,” he observed. “You would’ve been freaking out.”

He’s not wrong. When he was 3, I likely would’ve sent him hang gliding before allowing him to cross the street alone. But my parenting instincts aren’t just a product of my own neuroses. They’re part of a culture, and here in the U.S. we’ve developed a culture of overprotectiveness and fear when it comes to kids acting independently.

By keeping them safely within arms’ reach, what are our kids missing out on? And what are some ways we could give them the opportunity to practice these vital life skills?

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/kids-independence-abroad-goog_l_688be162e4b0f5cda4871279

When I was 3, I was running loose with a bunch of kids 3-6 in our apartment complex courtyard; in the 80s my kids ran up and down our block and knew to come home when the streetlights came on. Now the kid next door can't even walk to the mailbox by himself, FFS!

5 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Parents In Other Countries Do This 1 Thing -- And American Kids Might Be Missing Out. (Original Post) Jilly_in_VA Aug 3 OP
Parents sit in the car with their kids at the end of a doc03 Aug 3 #1
My dad use to send me into the corner Captain Zero Aug 3 #2
When I was no more than 5, snot Aug 3 #3
both parents ARRESTED (felony endangerment/ neglect?) stopdiggin Aug 3 #4
I walked to school alone at 5 Jilly_in_VA Aug 3 #5

doc03

(38,287 posts)
1. Parents sit in the car with their kids at the end of a
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 04:27 PM
Aug 3

100 foot driveway waiting for the school bus. I can imagine what my mom would have said if I asked her
to drive me to the school bus.

Captain Zero

(8,297 posts)
2. My dad use to send me into the corner
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 04:34 PM
Aug 3

News stand to buy him a pack of Camels, when I was 6-7. He'd wait outside for me in the car. Hahaha.

The first time he did it I had just earned my Webelos/Bobcat? pin in Cub Scouts, which you wear upside down until you do a favor for someone. So when I came out he said, "you can turn your pin right side up now."

Now I laugh so hard thinking about it because he was probably annoyed having to take me to that Scout meeting and that was his sarcasm for Scout meetings.

snot

(11,279 posts)
3. When I was no more than 5,
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 05:32 PM
Aug 3

my 2.5-yr.-old sister and I played unsupervised in a rock-strewn lot bordered on two sides by streets, and I was supposed to be taking care of her. By age 8 I was expected to bike-ride alone several miles if I wanted to visit a friend.

What makes it al the more significant is that last I checked, crime rates now are lower than they were when I was a kid.

Parents just hear about more crime now because our immersion in the 'net exposes us to more clickable news and effectively shrunk the world (c.f. Marshall McLuhan's "global village" ).

stopdiggin

(14,258 posts)
4. both parents ARRESTED (felony endangerment/ neglect?)
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 05:33 PM
Aug 3

regarding a 7 yr old (accompanied by a 10 yr old sibling) killed crossing traffic on a pre-approved two block walk home from store.

Those charges and arrest saw vigorous defense here on DU a fairly short time ago.
Not only do we not believe in such freedoms (or parenting) here - but we are more than willing to arrest you if you do.

Jilly_in_VA

(12,756 posts)
5. I walked to school alone at 5
Sun Aug 3, 2025, 05:53 PM
Aug 3

once my mom showed me the way. We lived on a busy street and she paid an older boy a quarter a week to "cross" me in the mornings, but that was the end of his responsibility. We had a crossing guard by the school, which was (I think) two blocks away. Mom would stand outside and "cross" me after school at noon. I was also allowed to go to my friend's house after school and we often played unsupervised on the university athletic fields nearby (me and two boys). That was where I got my butt full of splinters sliding down a board, which is a whole other story.

I don't remember ever NOT walking to school. When we moved to Wisconsin I walked, first kittycorner across an open field (that was in Badger Village, about which I could write a whole volume), and then in Madison, 6 blocks to my grade school and later 3 blocks to my junior/senior high school. Kids today are soft. By the time I was 8 or so, my mom would hand me some money and ask me to go to the grocery store 3 1/2 blocks away for what she needed and give me a quarter for myself. (I squirreled away the quarters to buy batteries for the flashlight I used to read under the covers, but that's another story too.) At 10 I could take the bus to my own dental appointment, and by not much later I was allowed to take it downtown to the main library. At 11 I was riding my bike all over the west end of town. I knew my boundaries and when I was supposed to be home. My parents would probably be arrested today.

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