Goodbye Sweet Cuddles

I saw you and your sister for the first time at the Filmore Illinois post office in the fall of 2021 and it really was love at first sight.

We.took you home and so began an incredible adventure that most kitties could only dream about.

From having Mufasa and Nugget show you the ropes and toughen you up, to our first walks, after my second back surgery in March of 2022.

Back then we were the talk of the neighborhood, You and me and Snuggles, Moofy and Nuggy all carefully walking down the street, usually in a line.

You were always a great hunter Cuddles, you were the only one of the four daring enough to hunt birds. You were certainly the only one who ever caught one. You caught many.

The most amazing thing I've ever seen a cat do was when one day while walking, as I'm staring at a rabbit frozen in place, you stop, and I swear you did the math in your head and 30 seconds later you took three calculated jumps and at the end of the third you came up with a different rabbit in your mouth. Sir David Attenborough would have proudly described it, it was so perfect.

Your early life was hard, as I was too big a coward to stop you from having to sleep outside every night when living with Tobys mom. Five cats was too much for a small house, but I should have.....

I so treasure those winter nights when I'd sit on the porch with my heavy robe on, you tucked into it with me at my heart, and your sister curled up in my lap at the same time, and we'd pray for something better, I'd coo to you both, loving every minute of freezing out there with you as temps ran into the twenties or lower some nights.

You were so incredibly smart. You learned that you had two dads, Toby and Me, and you gave so much to both of us. What was really amazing is that you asked what each could give, and no more.

You would let Toby hold and snuggle with you for as long as he'd want, and with me, it was a few seconds or maybe a little more. You would tell me when it was time to go out, and if I wasn't moving fast enough, you would sometimes hop on the bed and nip me into action, I miss that.

Whenever it was time for a walk, even after we moved, when it was just you and me, I'd invite you and your perk up from your nap and get yourself stretched and ready as I am led to the door.

Oh the memories of those walks, you accompanied a man so wracked with fear, anxiety and pain, and you gave him peace, comfort and love. You knew, and when we were together outside, that was our very special time to pray, meditate, think and just be and you planted yourself on my lap every day on the lovely old bench that became my prayer spot.

When all of a sudden we found seven cats living back near the cemetery, you didn't hide, and you didn't fight, you introduced yourself to each one and even became somewhat familiar with the main two that remain.

Your heart grew and grew as you truly lived Cuddles, you became a lover, not a fighter, to borrow a cheesy line. You were tough as nails, but you weren't a bully.

The first time I ever met Mittens, (A cat from eight or nine doors down, closer to the cemetery ) was the month after we moved into the trailer and she almost attacked me, she was not friendly in the least. You made friends with her, your go visit her and you guys would lay a foot or so apart enjoying a afternoon breeze in the shade.

I'm so proud of you Cuddles, you became a better and better cat as you grew, your kisses and head butts, your visit me in bed every single morning for a few minutes after I've let you in, your complete embrace of Shadow, when she decided you needed her and followed me home that day last December.

I saw the incredible gentleness with which you played with Shadow. You were almost twice her size, but you never hurt her. I noticed that first with Petunia, your chase that poor old woman down the hall, always staying close enough but adjusting your speed so not to catch her.

I cried the first time I saw your heart that way Cuddles, and I cry again because it so clearly showed you cared for her. I only wish she had been brave enough to trust you.

Shadows entrance into our lives reinvigorated you. She reawakens the kitten in you, and boy you two became love birds.

To watch you play was so joy giving, when you'd wash each other I'd melt, and when you'd sleep together, well, that would just make me bawl in awe sometimes.

I swear it was like Snuggles (she had similar coloring) was back in your life and you welcomed her with open arms and treated her so incredibly well.

There are hundreds more stories I could tell, but mostly, I want to say thank you Cuddles.

Thank you for your love, thank you for teaching me the joys of servitude and commitment and how important they are to our well being, thank you for always adjusting to what was going on, be it all my surgeries, my anxiety and worried tears, thank you for talking to me every day, for thinking me worthy of your trust, thank you for showing Toby the joy of love, for giving him a friend, for your absolute devotion to him, I swear you knew the difference between what he could give and what I could, and knowing that his gifts were just as wonderful and important as mine.

Thank you for being my little lion Cuddles, I called you that the first time we made it into the woods below Toby's moms house, when you stood on a log looking so majestic as you surveyed your territory.

Thank you Cuddles for being our friend, our companion, our love, our son.

Thank you for the life you brought to us, the life you so wonderfully shared with us, and the life you so incredibly lived for us.

I'll see you soon my dear friend, and then with a clan of hundreds, we'll welcome Toby home too.
We love you Persy (Tobys nickname for him)
We love you Pooh Bear
We love you Pretty Boy,
We love you, you're such a Good Boy
We love you Cuddles.

We'll miss you