It’s the one I always tell.

no one sees it coming until the end.

I said I was gonna make you breakfast, but my husband said "fuck him".

I knew it but couldn’t think of it. The brick joke(s) YES!!!

(Somebody had to.)

Gilber Gottfried's version is sooo foul.

"Hey, Motherf***er!"

...History of the World

gg

My mom used to get a huge kick out of a skit with two news anchors, a man and a woman, who would argue with each other about news topics. She had a favorite line from the skit.

One day my mom and I were arguing about something, and I looked at her, and I said…”Momma, you ignorant slut”.

We laughed so, so hard. I still get a chuckle today.

but when I caught my breath, I called him 'Precious!'"

i honestly dont remember the joke, except that the schtick is a mental patient who has to identify parts of the body to get released. sure i could reconstruct it.
but it was family shorthand to point to your head and say 'kidneys' when you've done something stupid.

when someone tries to bullshit me.

(Brent Briscoe playing Lou Chambers in A Simple Plan)

What, too soon?