moments of lucidity

moments of lucidity

now in moments of lucidity i find my reflection
cold gray and old staring into shadows of dream
to clear away the insanity to make the selection
a reality or fantasy comparing all seen or unseen
how did this fate happen staring dull and blank
expecting the graceful age and a lingering death
as the life fires dampen as a damaged ship sank
every color faded to beige in a rankness of breath
today the eyes don’t shine the lips move too slow
the thoughts that can escape halted and hesitant
to observe the sad decline never softens the blow
as the bindings to forsake begin to fray reluctant
the savage moment pauses yet it never quite stops
guilt wrapped in causes as an understanding drops