Trump deals nightmare blow to his own top officials - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

BTC: Trump officials take part in some major damage control or at least damage camouflage. This is just another day.

When it comes to public service, there are a wide variety of roles, but if you happen to serve in the Trump administration, the most crucial part of your job is definitely cleaning up the president's shit.

[cut to video from CBS Morning Show]
Nate Burleson: And now to this. Secretary of State Marco Rubio was at the Vatican this morning for a meeting with Pope Leo the 14th. Today's closed door one-on-one uh with the head of the Catholic Church comes after a spat between the president and the pontiff.

[cut to studio]
BTC: A spat? Is that what the world saw? Just a little tiff between friends, some pals engaged in some light bickering because I seem to remember it differently.

[cut to video from CBS News Philadelphia]
Nikki DeMentri: Tonight, President Trump is slamming the Pope on social media and to reporters saying he should quote get his act together and stop catering to the radical left.

[cut to video from CBS Mornings]
Trump: We don't want a pope that says crime is okay in our cities. I don't like it. I'm not a big fan of Pope Leo.

[cut to video]
Trump: And you know, his brother is a big MAGA person and he's a great guy, Louis. And I said, I like Louis better than I like the Pope.

[cut to studio]
BTC: I think a spat is when someone forgets to take out the trash, not when someone repeatedly calls the Pope trash, but that's the sweaty situation sweaty Marco Rubio walked into today. One where a pope has preached the church's message of peace and non-violence and a US president has called that pope a pussy. So for a meeting like this seeking to patch up a contentious relationship, it was crucial for Rubio to show up with the right gift that delivered the right message.

[cut to video from CNN]
Father Edward Beck: Pope's gift to Rubio when he was leaving was this olivewood pen and in case the symbolism was missed, Pope Leo said, "By the way, this is the plant of peace." And then Rubio gave Leo a crystal football with the State Department seal.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Nice. What was the message there? Here's a crystal football since you clearly think our president is concussed. You know, I don't want to say that the Secretary of State put absolutely no thought into what to get a Pope who's been relentlessly criticized by Donald Trump, but not only did he spring for the palm-sized football, Pope Leo is also widely known to be a baseball fan. The only way Rubio could have been more out of touch is if he showed up with a pack of condoms.

And what makes this even worse is what a special meeting this could have been for our dear Secretary of State.

[cut to video from CBS Mornings]
Voiceover: For Rubio, who's a devout Catholic himself, today's visit is as much about damage control as diplomacy.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Ah man, that has to suck for Rubio as a devout Catholic, having to meet his hero under the shittiest of circumstances. That's like Kash Patel getting to meet a Budweiser horse on the day he gets fired. Just not how he imagined it.

But Rubio isn't the only one taking part in damage control these days. Thanks to Donald Trump's failed policies, reckless governance, and uh let's call it his less than stellar acts of diplomacy.

[voiceover]
Open the expletive strait, you crazy bastards.

BTC: So fun. Trump's Cabinet officials has have been tasked with hitting the airwaves to turn all of our lemons into lemonade.

[cut to video from Mornings with Maria]
Kevin Hassett: In fact, I had the head of one of the big five banks in my office yesterday going through the credit card data and just as Secretary Bessent said, uh, credit card spending is through the roof. They're spending more on gasoline, but they're spending more on everything else, too.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Uh, I guess that's one way to look at Americans plunging themselves deeper and deeper into debt just to afford going to work and feeding their families. In fact, why stop there? Donald Trump's tariffs have been so successful, millions of small business owners have decided to give their employees endless vacation time. Yep. Donald Trump has been so adept at turning everything he touches into a disaster area. I'm surprised his Cabinet officials haven't reached out to FEMA for a relief package. Although, it's probably because they know they'd be denied.

So, Trump officials want the world to know that our relationship with the Vatican couldn't be better, our economy is topnotch, and there's absolutely no reason that you shouldn't pack up the family van and splurge on a little vacay this summer.

[cut to video from Fox]
Reporter: Now we're getting into that summer blend gasoline. 90% of Americans take road trips for their summer vacation.

Sean Duffy: Well, first of all, we want to encourage all Americans to take a road trip whether you're going to go 2 hours or 2 days.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Or maybe even a two-minute long road trip where you and your family head to the end of your cul-de-sac because that's as far as you can afford to travel.

But we all know why it now costs more to drive to an open house than to buy an open house. The totally optional war that Trump started with Iran and seeing the Rube Goldberg hell that it's unleashed on the US economy, the smart move would be for our president not to run his goddamn mouth, but Trump doesn't believe in smart moves.

[cut to video from CNN]
WH Correspondent: He says, "A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will."

[cut to studio]
BTC: He doesn't want it to happen, but it probably will. He's the guy that would make it happen. That's like Kanye going, I just wish someone would stop that guy from selling those disgusting swastika t-shirts. And of course, you can count on Trump to leave this particular shit scooping to the member of his Cabinet most repelled by shit.

[cut to video]
Voiceover: President Donald Trump has tasked the member of his inner circle who seemed to be the most reluctant defender of the six-week old conflict, to now find a resolution. The Republican vice president set off on Friday to lead mediated talks with Iran in Pakistan.

JD Vance: We're we're we're looking forward to the negotiation. I think it's going to be positive.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Wow. Looking forward to the experience. Vance is such a glass half full politician, isn't he? Because yeah, he may have to explain why the guy who threatened to end Iran's entire civilization is a trustworthy negotiating partner.

But also, think of the meals, the hummus, the pita. Don't you know what this guy eats when he cooks for himself?

[cut to video from Fox News]
JD Vance: I got those crescent rolls that you can get. They're very good. I rolled them out like into a pizza shape and put vegetables and ranch dressing on top and stuck it in the oven for 30 minutes.

[cut to studio]
BTC: I know it sounds gross, but he has to use crescent rolls. He's their mascot. [image of JD Vance and the Pillsbury Dough Boy]

The reality is Chef JD Vance, Marco Rubio, and the rest of this President's sycophantic minions are out there being forced to feel the pain of Donald Trump's tyrannical actions and clean up the mess he's made. And all I can say to that is welcome to the club because being responsible for cleaning up that mess is what America has had to deal with for years .

Trump promised to build a border wall paid for by Mexico, but in the end, we got stiffed with the $15 billion bill. Trump bragged that our nation was getting a free plane from Qatar, but in the end, we covered the billion dollar price tag it cost to retrofit it. Trump said that his golden crusted ballroom would be at no cost to American taxpayers thanks to the generosity of private donors. But surprise, we are now on the hook for a billion dollars worth of necessary security upgrades.

[cut to video]
Trump: Special black granite. Granite is the most powerful stone there is. Marble is much weaker than granite. I like marble more because marble can be more beautiful, but it's a much weaker stone.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Wow. Pretty crazy to hear how much more respect Donald Trump has for Black Granite than he does for black people.

This president doesn't care if he gets us entangled in foreign wars, bankrupts our economy, alienates us from our allies, or even destroys our relationship with God's favorite White Sox fan.

[inset image of Pope Leo XIV]

BTC: And that's because he is never the one who has to fix things. That's everyone else's job. Trump is pretty much a baby, and the rest of us are the ones tasked with cleaning up his shit. Ew.