General Discussion

You can stop behavior by instilling fear of pain as punishment for that behavior, or you can take a longer, far more difficult approach by helping a child (yes, toddlers too) in an age appropriate way learn to control themselves. Both create neural pathways that become predominate (I know, nothing’s absolute but a pattern creates strong neural pathways; once might not. Or, it might). Brains create thoughts to explain feelings. That’s just a fact. It’s all biochemistry. A child’s brain will learn to flush with cortisol and Adrenalin imagining being hit for behavior. That’s a strong deterrent. What won’t happen, or at least will be inhibited and make it harder to happen, is the opposite, a flush of endorphins, a pleasurable association, a sense of identification with those who can self-regulate. Those become thoughts. And reasons for life choices. And a way of regarding and treating others.

Parenting is hard, and parents are not perfect. A swat is not a hand smack on the rear is not a belt buckle is not a fist. But those chemicals are very much the same. Hitting can be mitigated with caring behavior and that can help. Fine people have been raised both ways. But I can pretty much guarantee that what goes on to create those fine people differs. Sometimes it’s the best a parent can do. But it matters.