A Cybertruck Review [View all]

Allow me to lighten the mood a wee bit with this semi-whimsical tale.

Earlier today, for only the second time ever, I saw a Cybertruck up close and impersonal-like, and the second was worse than the first.

I'd mosied up behind the thing in an evening interstate slowdown, and at first couldn't quite place what I was looking at.

I saw a flat sheet of (metal?) before me with NOTHING on it, and for a second wondered whether I was looking at some kind of barricade or something, until the driver apparently tapped his brakes, whereupon I beheld two obscenely small red rectangular lights mounted at either end atop the sheet of metal.

And even then I wasn't quite sure what I was looking at until I pulled around its hard angles and sharp box-like edges.

Who drew up this profile anyway? A kindergartener?

Now, having seen online pictures of these things, I once wrote that they resembled dumpsters, silly me. Because, as it turns out, pictures don't quite do justice to how horrific these... vehicles... truly look, in all their glory.

Suffice it to say, I was outdone.

So, to dumpsters everywhere and of every kind, please accept my sincerest apologies.

(And to owners, admittedly, a taste I've yet to acquire.)