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The Borowitz Report-Kash Patel Replaced by Startled Deer [View all]
Last edited Fri Sep 12, 2025, 04:10 PM - Edit history (2)
BREAKING: Kash Patel Replaced by Startled Deer
— Scott Galloway (@profgalloway.com) 2025-09-12T18:17:22.326Z
@borowitzreport open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/kash-patel-replaced-by-startled-deer
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the embattled FBI director, Kash Patel learned on Friday that he was being replaced by a startled deer.
According to White House sources, Donald J. Trump made the decision after deciding that the deer would instill more confidence during its media appearances.
Informing Patel of his decision in a brief phone call, Trump reportedly said, “Sorry, Kash—we’re going deer.”
Though Trump’s nominee, if confirmed, would become the first antlered mammal to lead the FBI, most law enforcement experts believe that the deer would represent an upgrade.
According to White House sources, Donald J. Trump made the decision after deciding that the deer would instill more confidence during its media appearances.
Informing Patel of his decision in a brief phone call, Trump reportedly said, “Sorry, Kash—we’re going deer.”
Though Trump’s nominee, if confirmed, would become the first antlered mammal to lead the FBI, most law enforcement experts believe that the deer would represent an upgrade.
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