Did You See That? Moderates Just Saved Us Again! [View all]

Moderates are always there to save us from having to spend tax dollars o worthless things like food and medical care to the huddled masses of poor. They’re poor because they’re undeserving, or because God hasn’t given them his grace and they’re condemmed to hell anyway, or something. Even Mike Johnson knows this. What they need is to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. Only the very wealthy, the creators of all that is good, are truly deserving. Moderate Democrats have the COURAGE to cross the aisle and vote with their friends to take those things away and get the businesses of America back up and doing what they do best: exploitation and self-enrichment. Here are some of the things that moderates have saved us from in this century:

* Moderates saved us from the horror of a minimum wage increase.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of Medicare for all.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of student loan forgiveness (Biden messed that up a bit).
* Moderates saved us from the horror of tuition-free community college education.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of a child tax credit.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of statehood for D.C. and possibly Puerto Rico (should they choose to accept someday).
* Moderates saved us from the horror of the John R. Lewis Voting Rights Act.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of the reinstatement of net neutrality.
* Moderates saved us from the horror of any repeal of the Trump tax benefits to the wealthy passed in his first term.
* Moderates saved us from enshrining the right to an abortion in Federal law.
* Moderates have continued to save us from the horror of meaningful campaign finance reform.
* Moderates have continued to save us us from reinstating regulations to business removed in the wake of Reaganism.
* Moderates have continued to save us us from the horror of a reinstatement or any expansion of banking and finance regulations.
* Moderates prevented the failure of the Charlie Kirk Resolution.


Moderates will continue to do the fine work of making the wealthy, privileged and powerful more wealthy, privileged and powerful; and bipartisanly helping their friends across the aisle fuck over everyone else.

So next time you go to the polls to vote for the candidate the oligarchy chooses through their free and balanced exercise of “free speech” donations, don’t bother to look into their past. Don’t look to deep into the positions they take. Just vote the straight blue ticket and preserve the Big Tent from the evil of becoming an ideological party - because a far-right ideology doesn’t count. Clearly what we need is more of the same, for America!


Plus Irony and Hyperbole, but there aren't any thingies for those.