General Discussion

I think where my "generation" (born at the tail end of the 'Boomer' generation ... 1961) failed our children in two major ways: we stopped teaching our children about our struggles, which were addressed through collective action. Maybe I'm unique in that I was a late in life child (for the times) ... my parents were born in the early 20s, and were involved in the civil rights struggle ... I grew up in that and saw and was taught the value of collective action; however, the vast majority of my Black college freshman peers' parents were born in the early to mid-40s, and arrived to college with the mentality that "my parent's struggle got me here; but that's old hat, I'm here for me."

This resulted in the Civil Rights Movement grinding to a near halt ... and in the broader context, the union movement grinding to a near halt, as like with the Civil Rights movement, too many of my college peers (Black and white) took the hard fought for union gains for granted ... "My union parents' struggle got me here; but that's old hat, I'm here for me."

We, also, took to the notion of "hard work be damned!" As an anecdotal example:

I was raised in an environment where all winter I worked to prepare for spring little league baseball try-outs; if I was good enough, I got picked for a team, if not, I knew that if I wanted to make a team, I'd have to work on my skills so I could try again next season. But it didn't stop there ... I knew that even if I made the team, I only played if I was good enough, if not, I worked to improve so that next season I could play. And at the end of the season, the players on the Championship team and the MVP of each team got a trophy ... the rest of us worked and tried harder for next season.

Fast-forward to my experience with my own kid ... One Saturday, my wife announced that "We" were going to coach our daughter's AYSO soccer team (meaning: I was going to organize and run the practices ... I was going to manage and coach the team, and she was going to wear an Asst Coach tee shirt ... LOL). I was fine with that since I love my daughter and had been involved in youth mentorship ... Plus, I knew a little something about soccer.

So I went to the Coach's meeting with my youth baseball experience as my template. I got the time mixed up and arrived just as the meeting was breaking up ... so I went to the league superintendent and asked, "So when are try-outs?" I noticed some looks from some of the other coaches, and the superintendent told me, "everyone makes the team ... here is your roster" and handed me the "coaches' Coaching Guide" to read ... and then she walked away. I walked to my car thinking, "That was weird. No try-outs? ... Okay, maybe they're short on players and are just trying to fill the teams."

I got home and read the "Guide" to discover that not only was everyone placed on a team, everyone was to play ... the same amount of time, regardless of skill, effort or practice attendance. And (IMO) it got worse ... and THEY DID NOT KEEP SCORE (how the hell do you determine who won) and AT THE END OF THE SEASON, EVERYONE GOT A TROPHY because it "built the self-esteem of the youthful players."

Okay ... I'm skeptical; but committed ... At my first team meeting (parent attendance mandatory) I established the team (including parents) rules: 1) Our roles are simple ... the Kids play, I coach, the parents parent and cheer ... if parents wish to coach, I had some extra Asst. Coach tee shirts. 2) Practice is every Wednesday at 4:00p.m., Player attendance is mandatory (if a parent couldn't get their kid to practice, they could arrange for another parent or me to get the kid there) and parental attendance is preferred (There is always a need for folks to pitch in with drills). 3) I would be keeping score ... (While I recognize this is a skill-building league, Sportsmanship IS a vital skill and Winning is more fun than losing).

I can't tell you how many calls the superintendent got; but she felt the need to set me straight ... the first practice, 8 kids (out of 14)showed up, 2 parents stayed, 1 parent actually got out of the car. The first game, all 14 kids showed up; but not their parents ... I routinely had to wait with kids after the games and practices, waiting for their parents to pick them up.

Now fast forward to what I am witnessing of my daughter's generation (Of course, this is a generalization; but ...) they seem to only want praise, even for admittedly poor effort; they refuse to acknowledge that anyone is "better than anyone else", even in specific tasks; they expect to be rewarded just for showing up.

This is what we taught them.