General Discussion

Number23

(24,544 posts)

49. Girl, love is love. I'm glad that I finally grew up and recognized that for myself.

Mon Feb 16, 2015, 08:14 PM

Feb 2015

I remember being actually DISGUSTED when white men (some of whom were FOOOIIINE) approached me when I was younger. I probably missed out on some genuinely wonderful men because of my "Brothers Only" stance.

And a lot of these men saying that they don't find black women attractive have absolutely no idea what they sound like or what time it is. I'm the first black woman my husband has ever been with and I have rocked his world and his beliefs and perceptions in so many ways he's lost count. He will truly never be the same again and for that, we are both immensely thankful.

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Why do so many more black men marry white women than vice versa? [View all] Donald Ian Rankin Feb 2015 OP

. wyldwolf Feb 2015 #1

Me too Duckhunter935 Feb 2015 #3

lol, no comment. I'm sure you have heard some things in life to answer this question though. dissentient Feb 2015 #2

Various, none of which I find terribly persuasive. Donald Ian Rankin Feb 2015 #5

I don't understand why your question was considered to be radioactive by many here. politicaljunkie41910 Feb 2015 #108

Classic Long Drive Feb 2015 #110

Your (excellent!) post makes me think that maybe men choose women who tblue37 Feb 2015 #121

Great read ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2015 #126

Nice post... shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #170

"I very much enjoy discussing these sort of issues with African Americans" Number23 Feb 2015 #172

I'm glad you feel equipped to speak for them (nt) shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #186

No, but considering that you openly and loudly declared downthread that the "history and culture" of Number23 Feb 2015 #192

I did? shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #194

And your cluelessness dripping with patronizing paternalism must make for excellent Number23 Feb 2015 #195

Some presumptions on your part, then shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #199

"My guess is if both of us were randomly airdropped into Africa an hour later I would be selling Number23 Feb 2015 #207

Well, admittedly English is not my first language... shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #209

"That" is as superfluous to that sentence as your contribution has been to this topic. Number23 Feb 2015 #210

Let Black people speak for themselves? Sheldon Cooper Feb 2015 #196

My bad shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #197

Yes, I read the comment she referenced. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2015 #198

That is magnificent shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #200

How about a Simpsons pic? Sheldon Cooper Feb 2015 #201

That's perfect shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #202

spew!! Number23 Feb 2015 #208

re shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #211

"and yet, here we all are." Number23 Feb 2015 #212

well, the yahoo comments section probably gets a lot more eyeballs than here shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #213

Lord knows, I've heard things that could answer that question over the years! Number23 Feb 2015 #13

Boom. aikoaiko Feb 2015 #4

lol dissentient Feb 2015 #6

because they want to? CatWoman Feb 2015 #7

more black men marry white women than white women marry black men? uppityperson Feb 2015 #8

I know more of #2 hollowdweller Feb 2015 #14

That would be my understanding of the "vice versa" part of it, yes. Iggo Feb 2015 #29

Black women less often find white men attractive? treestar Feb 2015 #9

Truth JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #38

Chris Rock has a funny routine on that subject. arcane1 Feb 2015 #79

Yep, hard to know if he believes what he was saying or if it's all a joke stevenleser Feb 2015 #98

Agreed. It certainly changed over time for me. After being raised by television... arcane1 Feb 2015 #99

what a happy place to be! Iris Feb 2015 #104

Close to the truth, but not the whole truth... Stellar Feb 2015 #114

A black girl I used to work with told me.. AgingAmerican Feb 2015 #137

****jury duty avoidance post**** ScreamingMeemie Feb 2015 #10

Smart! I'll jump on your bandwagon Brother Buzz Feb 2015 #26

Isn't there an option to decline to serve when called for jury duty? (nt) Nye Bevan Feb 2015 #40

There is, but why be called at all? (nt) ScreamingMeemie Feb 2015 #41

Not only is this such a bizarre question that I have no idea why it was posted, but I TRULY cannot Number23 Feb 2015 #11

Out of curiosity, why do you think that would be an inappropriate question? LittleBlue Feb 2015 #69

I stated quite clearly why I think it's stupid to ask these questions here. Number23 Feb 2015 #71

I truly think some here don't know this. NCTraveler Feb 2015 #127

+100 ND-Dem Feb 2015 #75

Really? Why is it bizarre? Arugula Latte Feb 2015 #134

Because DU does not and never has done race issues well. And it probably never will Number23 Feb 2015 #158

I guess I think that racial issues can be talked about, and even offensive stereotypes talked about, Arugula Latte Feb 2015 #190

Well, obviously we differ on that. Particularly as I find that alot of people doing the offensive Number23 Feb 2015 #193

Likely because so many Asians are middle-class KamaAina Feb 2015 #143

That's probably true but it doesn't explain the gender difference. Jim Lane Feb 2015 #147

Black women are not considered as attractive than white women. AngryAmish Feb 2015 #12

And right here, perhaps this is the reason behind this weird, out of the blue OP? Number23 Feb 2015 #15

That's wild as hell. hollowdweller Feb 2015 #17

I dated two black women on OK Cupid, both were very attractive. dilby Feb 2015 #44

Stop! JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #81

Pretty awesome. n/t dilby Feb 2015 #84

this is bs. for this to be true you would need to show that they are being rejected JI7 Feb 2015 #52

Whatever. I'm white as they come and think there are many beautiful black women out there ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2015 #128

I'm with you on that. AngryAmish Feb 2015 #129

Hmm... onpatrol98 Feb 2015 #16

Heyyyy!!! Number23 Feb 2015 #21

Hey!!!! onpatrol98 Feb 2015 #46

Nope, nothing has changed here. Not one damn thing. Number23 Feb 2015 #54

Nothing has changed here JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #102

you could ask:why do more white women marry black men than white men Liberal_in_LA Feb 2015 #18

+1 leftstreet Feb 2015 #22

And that is the way question should be asked. nt kelliekat44 Feb 2015 #27

There's always an undertone of disapproval to it. Like white women are "supposed" to be with white nomorenomore08 Feb 2015 #176

I am a light skinned black women who married a white man 25+ years!!! kimbutgar Feb 2015 #19

I'm a black woman married to a white man too. My husband is the first white man I ever gave a second Number23 Feb 2015 #28

Agreed JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #43

Girl, love is love. I'm glad that I finally grew up and recognized that for myself. Number23 Feb 2015 #49

You know JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #56

Any man who says he doesn't find black women attractive Egnever Feb 2015 #57

I think you're right about that, Eggy Number23 Feb 2015 #60

The idea you need to try seems a bit much as well Egnever Feb 2015 #66

Yep. nt d_r Feb 2015 #88

+1000. A while back, someone showed me a Mark Twain quote: LittleBlue Feb 2015 #111

It's funny. My son complains about being so white. Arugula Latte Feb 2015 #133

I know the feeling! LittleBlue Feb 2015 #136

This is you: Arugula Latte Feb 2015 #138

Oh dear LittleBlue Feb 2015 #139

Aww, sorry. Arugula Latte Feb 2015 #140

I respectfully disagree pipi_k Feb 2015 #171

even worse...back hair onpatrol98 Feb 2015 #179

If he's all that pipi_k Feb 2015 #187

... cwydro Feb 2015 #59

Difference is whatever you make of it... I am white as hell JCMach1 Feb 2015 #65

What does 'light-skin black woman' have to do with marrying a white guy. Stellar Feb 2015 #116

I was wondering the same thing. Why mention that? nt benz380 Feb 2015 #144

I suggest you do a door-to-door survey Hekate Feb 2015 #20

Lol! kwassa Feb 2015 #67

You rock! JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #87

Oohhh onpatrol98 Feb 2015 #180

I don't see anything wrong with this thread. I've thought about the same thing once in awhile. BlueJazz Feb 2015 #23

As Robert Preston so trenchantly asked in Blake Edwards' S.O.B. hifiguy Feb 2015 #24

Yep, it's a mystery. bemildred Feb 2015 #25

I never noticed safeinOhio Feb 2015 #30

Why does it matter to you? still_one Feb 2015 #31

And I'm a gay white woman cwydro Feb 2015 #32

It may just simply be circumstantial or social exposure. Glassunion Feb 2015 #33

Because black men - white women are more socio-economically paralleled than Lex Feb 2015 #34

So black men marry down? JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #45

What? Lex Feb 2015 #48

Not really - its why the terminology White Trash irks me JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #62

+1 uponit7771 Feb 2015 #185

My best guess is that there are social norms that play a large part mythology Feb 2015 #35

A good bit of this seems to be a historical coincidence than anything, TBH. AverageJoe90 Feb 2015 #36

Who cares? MYOB. Thor_MN Feb 2015 #37

it all has to do with how likely one is to come across JI7 Feb 2015 #39

I dunno. But can we toss in pit bulls for even more "fun"? WorseBeforeBetter Feb 2015 #42

where's the Olive Garden gift card? n/t ProdigalJunkMail Feb 2015 #47

The Never-Ending Pasta Pass? WorseBeforeBetter Feb 2015 #53

And isn't she supposed to be breast-feeding? n/t eridani Feb 2015 #120

the dogs??? n/t ProdigalJunkMail Feb 2015 #125

The kid!!! Duh. n/t eridani Feb 2015 #154

Thread winner! Scuba Feb 2015 #50

Only if you're hoodless! (n/t) WorseBeforeBetter Feb 2015 #55

you know, I've never been to an Olive Garden. notadmblnd Feb 2015 #96

Yes, you're missing bad Italian food and poorly paid wait staff. Scuba Feb 2015 #103

Aww... Such a cute picture! nomorenomore08 Feb 2015 #183

We need science to settle it! WhaTHellsgoingonhere Feb 2015 #51

So this is what keeps you up at night, good to know. Rex Feb 2015 #58

1 members have recommended this thread (displayed in chronological order): AverageJoe90 LeftyMom Feb 2015 #61

Does the topic bother you? I approach the question the same as a Physics... BlueJazz Feb 2015 #74

I see a lot of people who are chomping at the bit to make offensive comments about race and gender. LeftyMom Feb 2015 #76

I noticed it too! JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #90

Yeah, you may have a point. BlueJazz Feb 2015 #92

They all have a story about the betsuni Feb 2015 #109

And I see a lot of people who aren't and are telling some great stories about their life.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2015 #130

Well that member was on two time outs, both happened because of his posts about African Americans CreekDog Feb 2015 #148

Many black men have adopted western beauty standards LittleBlue Feb 2015 #63

no. this is not true of many black men JI7 Feb 2015 #68

Read up on it LittleBlue Feb 2015 #72

I've never experienced that JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #77

Yes, I've heard that LittleBlue Feb 2015 #80

In a totally integrated society treestar Feb 2015 #156

Well there is a finite number of Women in the United States. dilby Feb 2015 #64

I believe that this point was addressed in Blazing Saddles. Orrex Feb 2015 #119

The white wife/ black husband thing is new because historically the dominant society didn't want to craigmatic Feb 2015 #70

I don't know. I am a white man married to a black woman. kwassa Feb 2015 #73

Thank you for weighing in JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #85

The world of relationships is dynamic, not static. There are more multicultural/ interracial .. kwassa Feb 2015 #91

Good points! JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #95

I was standing in line at a bank in Los Angeles ... kwassa Feb 2015 #101

I have two African American cousin in laws, both African American women. DemocratSinceBirth Feb 2015 #78

The answer is simple. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. MohRokTah Feb 2015 #82

There once was a man from Venus, who had a very large... AngryAmish Feb 2015 #107

none of my business. really. spanone Feb 2015 #83

Kick and Rec. Great question, framed ably and without malice. Anansi1171 Feb 2015 #86

"Popular fetish?" Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #157

Au Contraire! Not at all... Anansi1171 Feb 2015 #203

We got 12" of snow in my neck of the woods today. EOT Ykcutnek Feb 2015 #89

Neat! Glassunion Feb 2015 #94

I'm sorry you feel stressed about this. bravenak Feb 2015 #93

You won the thread JustAnotherGen Feb 2015 #100

I smell gefilte fish frying. nt msanthrope Feb 2015 #152

You couldn't answer a question like that JonLP24 Feb 2015 #97

Perhaps black women do not find white men attractive to the same extent kelly1mm Feb 2015 #105

Simple answer Depaysement Feb 2015 #106

Its quite a disparity in Britain shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #112

My theory on Asian women treestar Feb 2015 #115

I don't know that Asian American men are more sexist than the norm... shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #159

It's all stereotype, agreed treestar Feb 2015 #161

Well, you don't see as many mail-order grooms as mail-order brides shaayecanaan Feb 2015 #169

I suspect some of the much higher rates of Asian wives vs husbands Lee-Lee Feb 2015 #113

Drop in the bucket demographically AngryAmish Feb 2015 #165

What race-baiting bullshit tenderfoot Feb 2015 #117

Vice versa? As opposed to white women marrying black men? Orrex Feb 2015 #118

Interesting question. Captain Stern Feb 2015 #122

Because taboos aren't all abandoned on the same timeline in all locales. n/t Orsino Feb 2015 #123

Response to all those asking "Why do you care" or disparaging the question Jim Lane Feb 2015 #124

It's a sensitive topic ismnotwasm Feb 2015 #135

That's precisely my point. Jim Lane Feb 2015 #145

It's a hit and run OP ismnotwasm Feb 2015 #150

Yes, it could have been phrased a little better. Jim Lane Feb 2015 #151

Sure they should. People point out any race-baiting OP if they want. Hissyspit Feb 2015 #166

Dammit ismnotwasm Feb 2015 #177

Thank you for addressing this pipi_k Feb 2015 #146

I'm just saying Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #155

"If the OP is truly curious, then DU isn't the place to ask" Number23 Feb 2015 #160

Thanks for the citations Jim Lane Feb 2015 #167

I just pulled the first links I could find... Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #175

So how come pipi_k Feb 2015 #173

I thought Skinner put a permanent end to the "medical advice" threads ages ago? Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #174

Personal advice is different from general expertise Jim Lane Feb 2015 #181

I'm going to disagree that pipi_k Feb 2015 #189

People still manage pipi_k Feb 2015 #188

The OP posted and RAN! Get it? nt Logical Feb 2015 #164

Maybe you're looking at it wrong ismnotwasm Feb 2015 #131

+1 nomorenomore08 Feb 2015 #184

One probable hypothesis: status symbol Yorktown Feb 2015 #132

^^^^^^^^^^^^Stereotype alert Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #141

This is by no means the only stereotype in this thread, completely with castigations of "Americans" Number23 Feb 2015 #162

And what in fuck's name does it matter to you? Blue_Tires Feb 2015 #142

it is always good to pay attention snooper2 Feb 2015 #149

Driver was on some Peter Griffin business right there. eom Jamaal510 Feb 2015 #178

I'm white,.... and prefer brunette women to Blond. NM_Birder Feb 2015 #153

Nice hit and run away post! nt Logical Feb 2015 #163

I had a long-term relationship with a black woman Sen. Walter Sobchak Feb 2015 #168

To stick it to white guys, of course. cyberswede Feb 2015 #182

Not sure. White man married to a Black woman here. stone space Feb 2015 #191

My own experience Beringia Feb 2015 #205

Good Question. NOLALady Feb 2015 #206