General Discussion

look like the society's (white model or actress) standard of beauty, which we are exposed to constantly, while women are more likely to choose men who resemble the loving men they grew up around, whether fathers, uncles, brothers, other relatives, or neighbors.

Since a man's choice of a female partner is at least partly influenced by the evolutionary instinct to select a woman who will be recognized within his society as a sign of his status and success, the fact that our society holds up specifically white characteristics as beauty standards might cause at least some black men to be drawn to women who seem to match those standards more closely.

I knew a young man some years ago (a white guy) who had a dear, dear female friend (also white) who was fairly plain. Not ugly by any means, but just ordinary looking. I knew her well too, and she was much nicer, smarter, and more interesting than any of the girls he dated. He even admitted to me when I asked him why he didn't date her that he actually liked her much better than any of the girls he dated, but he was too embarrassed to date her because he knew his friends would tease him about not being able to get anyone prettier. In other words, he went out with girls he didn't like anywhere near as well, simply because he feared losing status if he dated someone his friends would not recognize as a "trophy."

I think women are under much, much less pressure to be with someone widely recognized as eye candy.

Don't forget that it is only within recent memory that black women have been acknowledged in our society as being beautiful, and even then, most of the ones who are recognized are relatively light-skinned women whose features meet white standards. Think of Beverly Johnson, Tyra Banks, Iman, Naomi Campbell, etc. Tyra Banks often comments on how hard it was for black women to even be accepted as models when she started out, and back then, there was only room for one, so she and Naomi Campbell ended up having to compete with each other for the few available slots for black women on the runway and on magazine shoots and covers.

I am just guessing, of course, but I wonder whether the status thing might have something to do with it.

I also wonder whether the fact that black women are famously strong-willed and strong minded--because they have had to become strong to survive the extra dose of crap our society dumps on them!--might also scare away some men, whether the men are white or black.