here are two very fun facts.... the first is that crime in Washington, DC is at a 30-year-low.

the second — and more fun — fact is that the average homeless person on the streets of DC has thirty-four fewer felony convictions than the current president of the United States.

nonetheless, United States President Cookedbooks McHushmoney has decided that DC’s homeless population is a ginormous factor in the imaginary crime wave that definitely isn’t a thing, and he’s given them about ten seconds to get the fuck out of his sight.

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We’re having a News Conference tomorrow in the White House. I’m going to make our Capital safer and more beautiful than it ever was before. The Homeless have to move out, IMMEDIATELY. We will give you places to stay, but FAR from the Capital. The Criminals, you don’t have to move out. We’re going to put you in jail where you belong. It’s all going to happen very fast, just like the Border. We went from millions pouring in, to ZERO in the last few months. This will be easier — Be prepared! There will be no “MR. NICE GUY.” We want our Capital BACK. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

it’s so easy to solve the world’s problems when you have no clue what you’re talking about.