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The Borowitz Report: Kash Patel Replaced by Startled Deer [View all]
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/kash-patel-replaced-by-startled-deer
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the embattled FBI director, Kash Patel learned on Friday that he was being replaced by a startled deer.
According to White House sources, Donald J. Trump made the decision after deciding that the deer would instill more confidence during its media appearances.
Informing Patel of his decision in a brief phone call, Trump reportedly said, “Sorry, Kash—we’re going deer.”
Though Trump’s nominee, if confirmed, would become the first antlered mammal to lead the FBI, most law enforcement experts believe that the deer would represent an upgrade.
- short article, no more at link -
According to White House sources, Donald J. Trump made the decision after deciding that the deer would instill more confidence during its media appearances.
Informing Patel of his decision in a brief phone call, Trump reportedly said, “Sorry, Kash—we’re going deer.”
Though Trump’s nominee, if confirmed, would become the first antlered mammal to lead the FBI, most law enforcement experts believe that the deer would represent an upgrade.
Someone please - we need to start a new DU poll (or a bingo card) for who will Chump fire by the end of 2025? I'd put Patel and Kennedy at the top of the list, but we all have our own opinions. Let's pool our guesses ....
Remember 2017 - when he fired probably 2/3 of his start-up staff and cabinet before the end of his first year? Biggest offense was insufficient ass-kissing to the big guy. But also many staffers fought among themselves, and Ivanka usually got the last say. Also anyone who got a lot of press (good or bad) had to go.
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