The DU Lounge

... they asked him why he he became a humor writer, and he replied, "If I hadn't I would have become an axe murderer."

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WIKI
He wanted to join the United States Marine Corps during World War II but was too young to join without parental or legal guardian consent. He bribed a drunk with half a pint of whiskey to sign as his legal guardian. From October 1942 to October 1945, Buchwald served with the Marines as part of the 4th Marine Aircraft Wing. He spent two years in the Pacific Theater and was discharged from the service as a sergeant. He said of his time in the Marines, "In the Marines, they don't have much use for humorists, they beat my brains in."[3]