I am *so* done and overwhelmed... Don't know what to DO with my freakin life (update in comments - Sat AM) [View all]

Last edited Sat Aug 23, 2025, 10:36 AM - Edit history (1)

I have been trying to get SOMETHING off the ground with my Certification in Sound Therapy... bad time to try to launch anythng, I get it. No bites, nibbles, nothing... even made a retreat that I thought would have people chomping at the bit.

Crickets

I'm sure there's marketing mistakes I am making, and I will have to address that tomorrow when I am fresh in the morning.

For now, I have "positive-thought" myself into a hole. Kept waiting for the breakthrough or something to happpen and make some money, even enough to keep myself afloat for a minute. Now I am down to literally the last few bucks in my posession...
To top it all off, the stupid car I bought decided to go belly up and I had to get towed home from my dr appt today. Got NO idea how to fix it.

So I'm scrambling to find anything remote, or i don't know...a fuckin miracle?

I applied for a Home Equity thing, but I got no $$ or job to ay anything back so I have no idea if it will even fly.
Put some more of the stuff River (the horrific ex) bought on marketplace... at least the adjustable bed should be worth something... but no bites there either.

Today I sat and cried in the parking lot of the hospital. many reasons but one of the BIG ones is that I have nobody to turn to for advice or help. Mom and Dad are gone... I wish I could even call my Dad and tell h8im what's happening to the car and hear his advice... (So add a dose of grief on top of all this)

I know I have been taking care of myself and being the adult. But what If I am just making all the wrong choices? Nobody is coming to rescue me.

Can't get food stamps or anything as long as I own a home. Can't go to the food bank without a car. Can't even get a damn job without a car.. (Rural mountain town has NO transit out here in the county)

So I am trying to eat something and laying down - can't think of anything else right now. I'm tapped and have now more fucks to give.
At least I have half a bag of rice and stuff in the freezer to keep me going for a minute.
It's just so frustrating when I have done SOOOO much work to get this far and heal the trauma of last October ... Where's my fucking miracle? Been praying to my Angels and telling them I need a breakthrough NOW

I'm just done.