The DU Lounge

So sorry you lost your dad quite young, but good she managed to get you through your teens despite her terrible depression, and her own horrific childhood experiences , and be well loved. (My dad had depression later mid life, and difficult parents, so I know).

Just a thought... I have reason for sharing.
My mom had gotten bad asthma when I was 5 1/2. It was often on very tough earlier on, but better controlled by the time I was late teens. But some infrequently other medical occurrences when we were younger.

She was very talented design wise, a trained dressmaker, not "sweet" per se, but sweet at times, and loving. A nature, art, sports, and science fan. Very much also for justice, and equality - taught us. She loved to laugh but sometimes could trigger an attack.
Loved by a big family!

Anyway when she got to ger 80's, and with het medical history I began to think of her passing. I knew it was going to be tough for me. It was but I got through it better than thought I might. Miss her, but over time without the fierceness. It was 2008 - 17 yrs ago.

I think what helped me was a few years before she died I started a "mantra" of "she wouldn't want me to be too sad for too long.".

I'm thinking I hope you can be happy on your birthday some day. You're good folk here. She'd want you to be happy. And sure our fellow DU'rs would want that for you at some future time.