Peacemaking and Community

So some of you don't believe I am a republican and want me off of your web-site. I will prove to you now how conservative I am. Excluding Huntsman, we believe, unlike our democrat friends, that abortion should be illegal. We believe in a Personhood Amendment, and that a fertilized egg is a human being. We also believe that killing a fetus or even a fertilized egg is murder and that the mother and doctor should be considered for capital punishment. Remember, ''an eye for an eye'', or in this case ''an eye for an egg''. We believe this. We've murdered and bombed clinics to prevent abortions, right? Now Santorum, and the rest of us, believe sex is evil. We also believe, like the Pope, that contraceptives should be banned. What we want is abstinence, so this is my proposal: all unmarried women from the age of 16 to 90 be fitted with a chastity belt (stainless steel to prevent rust) with one key fits all. That key is to be sent to the Vatican and put in a lock box, and only the Pope decides when the key is to be used. Yes, it will be tough on bikinis, but that's the price we must pay for republican morality.
We believe in little government, no government if possible. Remember hurricane Katrina? Bush was great the first five days by not sending help, but then caved in to the liberal media and sent help because of the reports that people were drowning in New Orleans. The government should not have been involved. Those people should have helped themselves by learning how to swim before the catastrophe.
This weekend should be the most important in the history of man. The Pittsburg Steelers play the Denver Broncos. The Steelers Quarterback points his finger to the heavens when he wins, the Broncos quarterback prays with his knee on the ground when he wins. In two days, we will know which to use--THE KNEE or THE FINGER! I will suffer the commercials for this game.
When Bush was running up the national debt from $5 trillion to $10 trillion, Cheney said that ''deficits don't matter''. We can not allow the democrats to show that tape. We must quash it somehow. And we must stop the democrats from saying that Reagan tripled that national debt, even if it's true. We must do what Nixon did, destroy the tapes.
Iran has oil. We must go to war with Iran to get it. Bad idea. It is just too far. Canada has more oil than all of the Muslim countries combined, and it's a lot closer. Let's invade Canada and take their oil. Are you with me? If you are, I am quite willing to be your leader, so come up with some cash and put me in the next republican debate. I can show Santorum, Romney, Perry and Gingrich who the real conservative is.