Barack Obama

When I had to go to the county building soon after moving here, I made a point of dropping a card I had with FBI in big letters on it. Not even my picture, which might be crossing legal lines. The small print was a joke disclaimer, but all I gave the clerk a chance to see was the big print. She wouldn't know a real FBI ID anyway if it bit her on the rump. I scooped up the card quickly, put it away, and said very sternly, "Forget you saw that." She was white as a sheet. After only a few weeks here I knew I'd have to strike a balance for my own safety.

You're right, a lot of these people (not all!) are dumb as dirt. One guy used to keep bragging on his intellectual girlfriend who almost made it through 11th grade in high school.