A new COVID conspiracy -- squirrels and hand sanitizer [View all]

Society has long been rife with conspiracy theories —- and there's nothing like a good old-fashioned global pandemic to bring them out in full force. Maybe I just have weird friends, but I can't go five minutes on Facebook without seeing someone claiming the coronavirus is a Democrat hoax to get Biden elected or that masks are just the government's way to subjugate society on the road to fascism.

I'm pretty sure most conspiracy theories are hogwash, especially these COVID-19 ones. I swear to you all right here and now there IS a sinister conspiracy afoot — one that involves an evil collaboration between car washes, grocery stores, and the most blackhearted masterminds of malice in the world: squirrels.

Once upon a time, I thought squirrels were cute and fuzzy and charming. Then I made the mistake of buying a house with a walnut tree in the backyard. Every year, a small army of squirrels farm that tree 24/7. They're efficient, organized, and their clear purpose in life is to make mine a living hell.

Last Sunday, I went to the grocery store on a food run. While there, I was happy to find a couple big jugs of hand sanitizer perfect for the office. Returning home, I pulled onto the parking slab in my backyard and unloaded the car.

Read more: https://qctimes.com/lifestyles/shane_brown/shane-brown-a-new-covid-conspiracy-squirrels-and-hand-sanitizer/article_abd0deb2-953a-5a9f-84fd-4ed303af340d.html