what doesnt help. [View all]

so, i heard from my sister yesterday, 1st time since may 20, when she trekked to my house to tell me that i needed to get some ‘help’.
now, there are a lot of folks w issues in my fam. my oldest sister struggled w depression back when it was supposed to be a shame. i’ve spent plenty of time on the couch, etc, but it is rooted in my physical health, so all the therapy did was convince me my life was fucked, and the cause of my issues. i kept changing my life, and it doesnt go away. but to them, i am weak and f’d up.

the plague has been chewing on me from the start, and by may things were already exploding in my life. but i was in more of a ‘too happy’ place back in may. so obviously i was manic.

all my family has ever been there to do for me is demand that i ‘get help’. never asked- what can we do? they just have never been there for me the way they are there for each other.
this is the sister that i got elected in 18. she’s mad i wasnt there for her re-elect in nov. now, she didnt rly ask me to help. she just asked me to dig up some of the stuff i did for her in 18. she was already mad at me. told her- too bad, so sad. use your own words. she did fine. ftr, i rarely work a re-elect. i would have if she’d offered me an actual job, and money, but that wasnt the ask.
so i got a package yesterday. a nasty note on her results, and a pin i had bought her at the beginning of the campaign. when we won, she gave me an $80 pan of pot brownies, despite my telling her, ad nauseum, that edibles do nothing for me. she returned the pin cuz i had pointed out that i spent $135 for it.
i not only got her elected, i was at her side when her hubs died suddenly half way through the campaign. and before that, i had lent part of my divorce settlement to their house flipping venture.
but trust me when i tell you that not a 1 of them has done anything for me since i was in my 20’s.
she had the nerve to tell me she wasnt gonna put up w MY ‘shit’.

well, they can all eat shit and die. srsly. so much better off w/o them. it so fucking painful seeing them helping each other and only ever shaming me. (it’s my dirty house, ya see.)

this prompted me to post this on twitter this a.m.-

if u know someone who is struggling w depression/mental health, pointing ur finger at them and telling them ‘u need help’ doesnt count as helping.
‘what can i do?’ is helping. judging isnt needed.
we know.

anyway, fuck the shamers. they have no idea.