Started a new Book on Trauma and I'm shook... [View all]

Very good friend on a similar journey of healing turned me on to
"The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma"by Sean Pratt

It goes really deep into the trauma response physically and neurologically and I'm on Chapter 4 so far...

I'm driving on the freeway listening and got hit hard by realizations, triggers, and wounds I didnt even realize I had been acting o0ut of for 20-30 years...
And the guilt and shame of subjecting my kids to those outbursts from unresolved issues...dammitt.

Hopefully healinig myself now can have a trickle down effect of some kind. I have cut the kids off for at least 6 months so hopefully we can come back and have a different relationship.
I'm 9 months sober and this is huge work of healing abuse from their dad and abandonment over and over and my dad's and mom's stuff that I bburied too...and after they just passed in the last 2 years even more grief has been uncovered...

So tonight I'm still on the road, in a hotel and staying put for the next couple days, good cuz I need to sit by the pool and process all this!
I start a new therapist on Monday to dig deep.