My brother just called me. [View all]

He is not doing well. His son (five years old) is having issues at his pre-school and today he was sent home after one hour because he just would not listen to the teachers (their description of what happened). He was very distraught over the fact that he was stressed out already and, while trying to get the boy to take his meds (which make him feel sick, I might add, but they want him to take them), lost his patience and popped him on his hand because his son was making light of the fact that he could not keep the pill down. It took three of them before he could keep it down.

Understand, our father was an alcoholic and quite abusive when he was awake. We were all hit many times while growing up. He swore that he would never do this to his own kid. Then, he did it today. My brother is like myself in that we both suffer from depression, anxiety, and probably PTSD from our father's drunken ways. (It is wild, though. The dad I had was abusive and would hit me for little things. The dad this brother had was usually passed out on the couch, although he would awaken to dole out some punishment. Same dad, different stages of alcoholism.)

He is upset and talking about 'taking care of his own situation because he is not built for this'. (He means checking out.) Since I know what he is feeling, I let him ramble and tried to get him to accept that the ideas already tried are not working and he needs to do other things. Like, let the kid out to run around. He is one of those new parents who is terrified that pedophiles and serial killers are lurking around every corner. (There is no evidence that their neighborhood has ever had, nor will ever have such problems, but rational thought is seldom a factor when one is dealing with new parents and their thoughts.) I am worried about him. I tried to let him know that since the kid has so much energy, they need to find something for him to do so that he can burn through it. My brother is a goth-minded computer nerd who would rather sit in his room all day and night and play games. He keeps insinuating that he is not built for 'outdoor' stuff, and finds it very difficult to be outside for long periods. I pretty much laid it out that this is not about him and his discomfort will have to be dealt with because his son needs this and he needs his father.

I feel for both of them. My life is very fucked up these days and I can't do much more than talk to him on the phone. I would love to go down to their state and help out, but I certainly cannot afford it, plus I would prefer not to set foot in that state ever again if I can help it. (GoGobootistan.)

It never rains but it pours.