Permission to vent, please. [View all]

Is there a specific term that applies to people who stress out majorly over home repair issues? So help me, that subject is the source of most, if not all, of my feelings of anxiety.

A couple of years ago, I was able to realize a long sought after dream of buying property outside of the city and establishing a sanctuary for the many cats that my rescue group had in TNR colonies, etc.

I am SO GRATEFUL to have been able to do that. But I am finding it harder and harder to actually stop and ENJOY the fact that the dream materialized.

I had previously been in a situation where I owned an older home that was literally just falling apart. It was 40 years old and just had issue after issue after issue. It seemed like every day when I drove into the garage after work, something ELSE was broken, or some other, new problem had occurred. When I was able to buy the property for the cat sanctuary, I sold that house for what I could get for it, ran like hell, and was GRATEFUL for being able to just get out from under it.

But I think I actually developed PTSD of some sort from dealing with all of the stress, anxiety, financial worry, and embarrassment over that house situation.

Fast forward to the new situation. We had a severe winter (for our area). I worried all winter about the heat pump. We've recently had a bunch of storms with hail in the area. I worried about the roof. We are now in a heat wave and I'm yet again worrying about the heat pump. And now, we've had termite swarm because of the rains, and I think I've found termites in the building that houses the cats. I've literally been having anxiety attacks.

Pretty damn stupid, right? To worry all the time about stuff like this when I should be completely grateful. I'm typically a pretty strong person. But in this specific area (i.e., home matters), I'm a freaking wreck. I've been ripped off so many times that my head spins at the thought of having to call someone to do something. Not to mention the cost. I'm certainly not wealthy. And yes, I will be calling a pest control company. I hope that I can wait a week because I have a relative coming to stay here for a mini vacation over the next week.

I feel pretty selfish and arrogant when I know so many people in the world deal with so much more. What the hell is wrong with me!!!!