Could use some hand-holding next couple of days. [View all]

Married daughter (27,) intelligent, professional (recently started first job as occupational therapist,) has indicated emotional 'problems' to me for years, for one, has bullied her younger sister (24) 'forever.' Manipulative, self-centered. Her father (we're separated) seems to have recognized problems only recently. 1+ months ago, told her father and me not to communicate with her, after having said we had 'fucked' her/credit rating. Her father had actually attended to issues with student loans; college at fault. She came to me, telling 'us' to straighten it out (when her father had done so.) He's angry she came to me after he'd take care of it, and I was ignorant of the issue. I contacted him, as she had told me to do, and after doing so, she cuts off communication, complaining that I had shared with him her communications with me. ???

So, she says, essentially, stay away from me, which we have done, but Dec. 19, her husband's (married Sept. 2011) dear grandmother had heart attack; she called to tell me. Grandma passed on Dec. 26. Funeral Monday, in Philly, near daughter; she invited me to attend. I'm in DC suburb, her father's in DC, and unable to attend for health reasons. She informed father of the death. I told her he and I had discussed, he would be unable to attend, but I would do so, and I asked for details.

Heard nothing for couple days, researched obit, decided I'd drive up after having discussed w her father, as its a family obligation. She texted 'OK. I really prefer that you two don't discuss issues about me without including me in the conversation.' Her father and I very angry about that.

This morning she called, said she'd bought stuff for 'my' room (they're in a new apartment,) and I told her I'll stay in a hotel. After all this crap, its clear we can't spend time together. Didn't say that in so many words, but generally. She gets angry: Ed (her husband) will worry about me getting around, how could I do this, why, because you're (me) upset you'll be upset about all the things you've done to me? Then she texted: Don't come. If D (her mother in law) noticed any tension, it will send her over the edge.

I'm going, as its a family thing, tho won't know most of the people there, expect Ed and D will be glad to see me (unless daughter creates tension by telling them and creating tension and anxiety.) Leaving DC area Sunday afternoon, staying near church, expect to drive to cemetery and 'brunch' if still invited (she had invited me earlier) and use GPS to get back to hotel.

No idea how things will work out, and somewhat concerned; no intention to discuss w her in public. Hope she can keep cool. As her father says, I should remember that daughter is the cause of the problems, no one else.

Hope to watch football game tomorrow.

Sorry this is so long. Will be in touch.