Mental Health Support

I ALWAYS have that three way battle, but my OCD can hijack the intellect and twist it against me since I have that OCD "pure" variety that's such a head-job. Sometimes I can get so into my head that I get sick to my stomach.

Yea, the "Count" can't do OCD stuff if he's dead, so he's "undead"; I like that, it applies to me for sure.

I faked it for 18 years and strangely enough, I didn't make it Part of that time I lived like the Count, the undead walking, thinking I was ok so long as the "episodes" came to an end without me letting anyone know what was going on inside me. Stealth was the most important thing to me because if someone knew I wasn't in good mental condition I would be "defeated" and thought of as "unsuccessful" or "bad".

Meds worked, I felt alive for the first time in so, so long......

Talk therapy lets me dig out of my holes and helps me to stop blaming myself for every damn emotion and thought. I was in middle age before I ever found anyone who comprehended what OCD was, and I saw a Psychiatrist for the first time when I was 18. People who get upset because there are more and more mental illnesses listed hasn't begged a Psychiatrist for help, described their thoughts in every detail, only to have them stair at you like you have three heads and they've never heard such nonsense in their lives.

To the OP: HANG ON through the episodes. Just hang on until the meds kick in, the talking helps, or new meds are tried (if needed). I tried pulling myself up by the bootstraps until I just wanted to strangle myself with them and leave this world. HANG ON.