husband has *finally* agreed to marriage counseling [View all]

the black hole of his untreated depression engulfed the house for nearly a week and i think we're mostly on the other side of it.

he won't go on his own, but there is shit that needs worked out between us. like how he yelled at me and called me lazy and an addict. i smoke a bowl, maybe two, after work and it smooths out the edges the meds miss. he also decided he hated his job and just stopped showing up. not sure how we're going to make rent this month, especially since we're still recovering from his unemployment late last year and are still behind on all the bills. but it's lit a fire under my ass to get the taxes done.

he wants to quit cigs, pot, alcohol and coffee. i agreed to quit smoking cigs with him, something that needed done anyway, not having alcohol in the house is no big deal, but he'll pry my coffee out of my cold, dead hands. doc knows i smoke pot and doesn't bust on me for it, i just don't want to be any more medicated than i already am. i feel like i'm already medicated to the point of numbness in some ways. husband suggested trying to wean off my meds and i told him to stick it, that isn't even an option.

i have bent over backwards for him for years and i'm glad he's finally willing to put some effort into this relationship. i will be pissed, though, if he doesn't clean the kitchen today while i'm at work.

i'm also hoping his mood will continue to improve with spring on the way. i know it's doing wonders for me.