Mental Health Support

I didn't even know about some of them until I was in my forties. One of my dad's unknown cousins found me on the internet. That's one of the reasons I'm not on Facebook or any other site like that. It was an uncomfortable experience because he was very insistent that he and I shared the same sort of reality. But no, thank you, I prefer my own twisted reality. I didn't see anything appealing in his.

It's clearly some kind of autism, a dominant gene in our family. Sometimes you get a rocket scientist and sometimes you get someone who is entirely dysfunctional in normal society. Sometimes you get someone who is a bit of both.

My own grandfather was an engineer on the Apollo Project but his personal life was always a mess. He had siblings who were entirely dysfunctional but they were quietly supported by family who were functional.

In the past I've been a semi-homeless person. Modern meds keep me somewhat functional.

In college I was "asked" twice to take time off, with the implied threat of permanent expulsion. It was all very hush-hush then, nothing committed to paper, something kept in the closet. It took me nine years to get my Bachelor's degree.

At my very worst I'm completely oblivious to my own mental state. It's always the world getting weirder, never me. The ability to judge my own mental state is the very first thing that flies out the window. When I'm functional I try to build a support system that will keep me that way. But I have done stupid things like quitting meds, and I'll probably do stupid things again. My feral human state is quite resourceful, I'm the "invisible" sort of homeless person.

One of my resources and safety net is a family quite tolerant of "eccentric" behaviors so long as they are not violent, abusive, or self-destructive.

How well did you know your uncle? It's quite possible he was as odd as his kid and moving to Seattle didn't seem like a bad idea to him. Or maybe his kid's mom was like that.

I've shown up at my parents' or siblings' homes with little warning and it wouldn't bother me at all if they did the same. I would always, even at my worst, have the wits to ring the doorbell or knock first. Maybe if it was an inappropriate hour I'd sleep in my car, but not for my parents or siblings. (I used to get in trouble for sleeping in my car. I did that in Santa Monica once and the cops were not nice.)

The house I grew up in was always welcoming. Finding a stranger in the house at any hour was never an unusual experience. You just figured if the pack of family dogs and some other human had accepted them, then they were probably okay.

You can't help anyone if they are not looking for help. You can't get anyone to accept your advice until you accept them as they are.

There is the "danger to self or others" aspect of it too. The "danger to others" is the big one that requires intervention. Same with suicidal "immediate danger to self."

The slow-suicide stuff -- smoking, drugs, excess alcohol, failure to seek medical care for potentially fatal conditions, going "off meds," etc. -- those are tougher to deal with and can only be looked at with some sense of detachment. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries... Otherwise I'm just taking on someone else's crazy which is always a bad idea.

These are comments and reflections on my own experiences, not "suggestions." Take anything you find useful, discard the rest.