sleep disruption sucks [View all]

i haven't had a good night's sleep since tuesday and it's starting to really wear on me. can't get tired, intense dreams, waking up crying at least once and more tears when i get up. i wake up feeling like my heart has been smashed with a hammer.

i'm sure it's chemical in nature as i've been vaping rather than smoking for just over two weeks and have dialed back my already limited mj consumption. those have been the only changes i've made and it seems to have finally hit me hard. on top of that, i'm experiencing more physical discomfort than usual (i'm just a pup, but i've manged to smash the crap out of myself) and the emergency vicodin doesn't touch it. the ativan doesn't slow me down and tea at bedtime doesn't get me where i want to go. that discomfort, i'm sure, is a symptom rather than a cause.

it's a lonely hour and my eyes are tired, but nothing else is.