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Mental Health Support

In reply to the discussion: When is it time [View all]

mzteris

(16,232 posts)
13. Then why
Sun Apr 13, 2014, 12:20 AM
Apr 2014

Do I feel like such a horrible mom? It's my fault that he got my genes . And his dads too, I suppose. Neither of us are what you'd call paragons of stability. Our lives have not contributed to our sons well being, though I thought I was doing a good job for a long long time. Not sure where it ran so totally off the rails. Or how I missed how bad it was.

I'm supposed to protect him and take care of him and fix everything. And yeah, I know at some point he has to grow up and be a man on his own terms, no matter what those terms are. I know I can't control him or make him or anything, and part of me doesn't want to. But gd I'm so afraid for him. Let's face it, I'm afraid for me. I can't bear the thought of him harming himself. I also can't bear the thought of having him ...put under observation ... Though if he gets even a whiff of that, I don't know what he'd do to avoid it.

Thank you, though. It helps oh so much to be able to talk about it. I have no one in my life in whom to confide. (Except my psych and my appt isn't for months since *i* was doing so well. Which also makes me feel guilty. I'd gladly sacrifice my sanity for his. I've lived with this my whole life, I can deal a little bit longer. Just please dear universe, make my son okay.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

When is it time [View all] mzteris Apr 2014 OP
. libodem Apr 2014 #1
That's a tough choices in a nightmare situation. I know a little bit of what you're going through... marble falls Apr 2014 #2
he drove to the studio. mzteris Apr 2014 #5
We all have an aspect that others cannot understand. marble falls Apr 2014 #12
VERY rough. elleng Apr 2014 #3
That would be good. mzteris Apr 2014 #6
Good to hear you actually SPOKE with his therapist, elleng Apr 2014 #7
Thank God you could talk to her get the red out Apr 2014 #14
oh, mzteris fizzgig Apr 2014 #4
If it weren't for my younger son mzteris Apr 2014 #8
Sounds like a little progress has already been made libodem Apr 2014 #9
thank you. mzteris Apr 2014 #10
That is a good sign that he is reaching out libodem Apr 2014 #11
Then why mzteris Apr 2014 #13
Honey, no, it's not like that get the red out Apr 2014 #15
Thanks. mzteris Apr 2014 #16
The really scary part is if you get law enforcement involved angstlessk Jun 2014 #17
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Mental Health Support»When is it time»Reply #13