It's a day I have to crush somebody. Talk me down, please. [View all]

Okay, I lied for the catchy thread title, I won't crush anyone.

I'll be "nice." Positive. Optimistic. It's all good. A better world with less misfit. That's all it is. Misfit. Misadventure. Accident. Ordinary random shit.

But the suicide-bomber-berserker gene is strong in me, even as I claim to be a gentle soul.

How can this be?

Is it correct if I attribute these horrors to our broken society rather than myself? Am I shedding some personal responsibility?

My oldest kid got a job as a hiring-and-firing-supervisor young. My wife has one of earth's ultimate extreme terror supervisor/educator/blood-and-guts-people-die hardcore medical supervisor jobs.

So what's my problem? I used to work in a blood bank. I never screwed up, I never let anything get past me if I had any doubts.

I'm not so certain today, probably because the stakes are smaller.

I'm in my Dr. Who, "I'm a very dangerous fellow when I don't know what I'm doing" place and I'm thinking "homeless guy living in his car in a church parking lot" would be a much more comfortable gig.

Some kind of crisis of faith, I'm sure.

Maybe all I need is a hug, but I'm an autistic spectrum fellow who doesn't like to be touched, near Star Trek Vulcan in that respect.