Haven't been taking my meds. [View all]

Being so caught up in the world of politics, job hunting and this super cool video game I can't walk away from has rendered me irresponsible.

I don't even know how many days i've skipped.

All I know is that now I just rejected an already accepted and full vetted job offer for something that pays better and I'm thoroughly destroying myself because of my low confidence to believe I had made the right decision in doing so.

So, I turned down the job I didn't really want, accepted the one I wanted but now I have to go through the whole background check and drug testing thing again. I passed the last one's background check, but... Now I feel like I'm doing it all over again and there's no certainty that anything will work out. Everything is fluid and I'm losing my mind.

I want to sleep and never wake up.