How to address issues very consistent with Avoidant Personally Disorder? [View all]

My official laundry list of psychatric DXes is Bipolar I and PTSD, though on Axis I Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and GAD have been floated around.

The only attempt to make an Axis II diagnosis was during a depressive episode when a hospital psychiatrist seemed to call all women who feel suicidal borderline (ignoring that I've experienced manic psychosis, and that makes Bipolar I pretty much the only disorder that accounts for my mood issues, that I was a self-admit for thoughts, not threats or actions, that everything admitted to honestly that gave any support to the diagnostic criteria for BPD only occurred during mood episodes, etc).

But I do recognise the patterns in myself for a different Axis II, in a different cluster -- Avoidant.

Essentially, I was bullied most of my life, I have ALWAYS felt socially awkward and inept, and the response I have to people who honestly say that some behaviors (like, I have a nervous laugh) bother them is to feel rejected beyond what I know I rationally should and want to withdraw. Tonight, my roommate decided to tell me that laugh drives him crazy, out of the blue, and my immediate response was to offer to move out if it bothered him so badly he felt he had to step away from his kids and go into my alone space just to tell me that I had bothered him earlier.

That's not a rational or healthy response, and I know it. But if people don't like me or how I am, I'd rather just be away from them, and he wasn't exactly elegant in his initial phrasing before explaining what it was that bothered him ("You drive me crazy in social situations".) I know my stupid side is going to remember this long after he got over it, be more nervous if he does have people over, which will make me laugh nervously even more... that cycle's been done so many times in the past it's pretty predictable now.

Or, alternatively, I'm going to hole up and make sure not to come out of my room when he has people over, because of fear I am going to embarrass him.... the hallmark of the personality disorder.

Does anyone who has issues like this have books they could recommend, or a way to bring it up to a therapist to get help without seeming like I found Wikipedia and went srlf-diagnosing? (I actually wanted to be a shrink for a long time before I realized I needed one more, which is sometimes threatening to MH professionals.)