Mental Health Support

I can't deal right now, I have upset someone I didn't want to have a bad opinion of me. This is kind of a last straw right now. I wish I had killed myself when I was young and not had to live through so damn much and gotten kicked down at every turn, made a fool of myself at every turn. People like me ought to be found as children and put down for their own good like a puppy with a horrible genetic disease. If they had put me down as a defective kid, I wouldn't have had to suffer or make others around me suffer. I am the kind of thing no one wants in the room with them. I am the kind of thing my parents shouldn't have had to deal with, I am a THING that my poor husband and dogs shouldn't be forced to put up with. The kind of THING that other kids knew was "off" instinctively, and tried their best to make go away and kill itself off in order to protect the social order. A THING that no college should have admitted on their campus, whose graduation makes the University of Kentucky really look stupid for letting it in to begin with. I am a THING that someone should come into my office and shoot right now for the betterment of the world. I am a creature who should die and have lines of people spitting on its grave day and night for weeks in efforts to achieve some justice in humiliating it in death.