Parenting

been there done that.

middle kid was in therapy at 14, spent a couple weeks in the ward, got into a therapeutic day school that saved her life.
was on and off meds, tearful arguments included, lies and hiding and all.

her therapist was important to getting her the help she needed, but i also believe that she told tall tales about us that caused him to be completely closed to any input from us, or any help on the family level.
in the long run, i believe she spun tales for him for so long, that were swallowed so whole, that she came to believe them.

as an adult, she is taking daily meds, acknowledges her bi-polar, and her borderline. she has "forgiven" me for the assaults of her imagination.
when you are a mom, you take that.


so, i also have a son that i believe is schizophrenic, refuses treatment, and a nightmare to live w.
i needed the cops to get him out of the house, and he has bounced around some.
one of his landing spots was w a cousin who is retired army, working at the pentagon. he let him land in their empty nest, but they laid out strict terms. work or get in school, get therapy, get a grip, or get out.
he had one "come to jesus" talk, and he responded by hiding, playing video games and drinkin the man's booze.

i am sure he took some real lessons from that.
i think a big part of any rescue of kids like this is giving them a structure to hang onto until them get on their feet.

if there is a relative that is willing to give this kid some structure and rhythm, and help her get some help, an outside adult can often be a life saver.

if she is not bumping up against the law, it might be hard to "make" her get help.
mom and dad should visit the local police station, and see if they have a domestic specialist, or a crisis intervention team that might be able to help them.
it can be an incredible comfort to have the phone number of an actual person who knows the story that you can call in a crisis. it is a little like russian roulette calling 911.
a couple of run ins w the law, and they can probably get her bakered, and at least get a dx, if she is willing to cooperate.
at any rate, she gets a ride to the er w the cops, and a long sit to see how out of it she is.

one more clue- find out where the ambulance would take her, and make sure they have psyche beds in that hospital. my nearest hospital doesnt, but has them in their network. they arent always available. my son sat all night and half a day waiting for a bed to open up. second trip i learned to ask for the cit- crisis intervention team- as they only take them where there is an open bed.
they wanted to give him 30 days, but he refused, refused to take any meds anyway, and got his sister to say he wasnt a danger, even tho she has wagged her finger at me to get him out of the house because she thought he might go off.

your niece has all my heart, as does her daughter.
feel free to pm me, and also suggest that you hit the mental health support forum. those people got me through 2 crazy adolescents.
you will be surrounded w hugs.