Parenting

I don't know how this fits into your scenario - but think about the idea of easing up on the 'structure' - since these kids are rapidly approaching the time/place where this isn't going to 'fit' very well with them anyway. Consider how you can facilitating personal bonds with the teens - as this is the direction things will be going anyway. These kids will soon be at a stage where (if they want to) there will be very little a 'difficult' mother will be able to do about actually curtailing contact and communication. (you've all got cell phones, right?) If you are a valuable and trusted part of their lives - those kids will make it happen. Are you available (and capable) of casual social 'dates' close to where the teens live? "How about we meet at the mall, the movies, burger at MickeyDs, coffee?" Tell them a 1/2 hour 'meet up' would mean so much to you for catching up. A motivated 15 yr old can find a way to do this. Even more so an 18 yr old - that is more than ready to tell mom to "p*** off" anyway.